An Open Love Letter to Lindy West

I don’t normally allow myself to get too heartfelt and emotional on this blog, cause I’m not about that shit. I don’t ever give my love to just one girl. I like to spread it around like red sauce on pizza. Today however, I’m going to share my deepest feelings and desire for a very exceptional BBW. Since this is a very special post it’s only proper that I set the mood with the right music:

Lindy West, I just want you to know that you are the biggest, brightest, and all around most beautiful feminist in the whole wide world. 

Consider this an open love letter.

When I first discovered you on Jezebel, my heart skipped a few beats. I knew it was love at first sight. Your sassy feminist vibe, your rotund, rubenesque frame, it’s spicy yet familiar. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.

I’ll admit I’ve done wrong in the past. All those nights I spent with other big women, feeding them nachos and friend chicken, sleeping with them, break some off in them, but I would give it all up for you.

I need a strong woman like you to set me right once and for all. You’re a big woman, so naturally you deserve a big man with a big heart, and a really big hot dog.

If you’ll be with me, I will always be there for you.

When ever you need help getting into a wheel chair. Girl I got you.

For you, I would delete my account on Craigslist forever.

We could have countless nights together of cuddling in front of my big ass fire place. With your thick ass and thighs, your potbelly, and your giant love-handles, It’s as if God made you for this purpose; there’s so much more to hold on to. More flesh for me to handle and discover. I love discovering new territories, and your body is like a whole new continent, a whole new world baby.

All them hohos and all them tasty cakes I saved all these years, all yours. You can eat me out of house and home, and stuff your face while you sit on mine. My face is your throne.

I know a beach somewhere that we could go to, where we could go on romantic strolls together. I’d bring out the wheel chair of course, a special wheel chair like you’ve never seen. Girl, you’d never have to walk on them heavy ass legs again, I got you baby, all the way! I know how much trouble you have breathing even when you sit still. So just relax. I’ll roll you up to the candle lit dinner on the beach.

We’d crack open the wine and some Cognac, fine ass cheese, candy corn oreos (your favorite) hamhock gravy and mashed potatoes, pizza, and a funnel to help it all go down. We could let ourselves loose in the moment.

You wouldn’t ever have to lift a finger, in fact I don’t even want you to. All you’d have to do is relax, lay back, and open your mouth.

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10 Reasons Why YOU Should Fuck Fat Women

You could sneak up right behind her #BBWdistracted

#1. Big Women Deserve Big Love.

Because of size-discrimination and racist/sizist manosphere bloggers like Heartiste, BBWs have a very hard time finding real men that have the proper credentials to handle their larger equipment in the bedroom. BBWs are an acquired taste. They need men with patience and experience in the unique art of super-sized-seduction. So If you have a big cock (black guys) and have the desire to hit it, it’s your duty. Save the whales motherfucker!

#2. They Are More Desperate for Sex: Get Your Notch Count Up Brothers.

So you walk into a bar and call it a night because you can’t find a girl under 170 pounds? You’re a bitch. You’ve failed at being a man. If anything, you have the advantage because BBWs are insecure about their body image. Make them feel good by doing the right thing. Fuck them up: they need they’re pussies wrecked. You get bonus points from her for finding her pussy. It’s never been easier to get your notch count in the 3 digits.

#3. You Live in the United States.

If this country gets any fatter it’s going to sink into the ocean, so it’s time to learn to swim. In other words, that means goin’ with the flow and fucking fat women. If this continent actually does sink, your BBW fling can double as a flotation device — provided she doesn’t somehow weigh more than the water she displaces.

#4. BBWs Are More Submissive.

See reasons #1 and #2: the dating market is an economic market, and fat women are in great supply. They need you more than you need them.

Food Torture

I love making fat white bitches my sex slaves, it’s the ultimate revenge for slavery. Send them to my pigpen. Amen.

Picking up BBWs is liking getting Burger King: have it your way.

#5. They Give Better Head.

Because they’re hungry. She probably uses a corndog as a dildo, imagine what she’ll do to your dick after you put some mustard on it. Ask her if she likes Hershey kisses and you got easy rimjobs.

#6. Bigger Ass and Titties.

You like a big ass? You like big titties? I can hear you say hell yeah! Amen.

She’s got thick slabs of flesh that need a good flossing. Gotta clean ’em out.

#7. They All Love Video Games.

Come on bitch, put down that controller. We’re going to play a Big Game now. It’s Massive-Multiplayer: you, me, and that fat white ass.

Now what man on earth doesn’t want a girl that likes to play video games? Come on man, you know regular dates are bullshit. You’d rather just play video games and fuck than take her to the movies to see some hollywood remake. Wouldn’t we all? Well guess what, that’s exactly what she wants too! That and lots of food. But hey, you like 7-11 nachos too, right? Sounds like a win-win-win (triple win) situation right there. Play video games, eat, and fuck!

Now quit being a bitch when you can have it your way. Time to hit up the big pussy. A new notch is better than a new Xbox live achievement. Trust me on this.

And again, big bitches love video games. They gotta do something after fucking and eating, shit.

#8. Using Food Instead Of Money = Legal Prostitution.

                                                  Here’s a Guide

Why pay for sex when you can make a nice meal? It’s cheaper and less humiliating than handing her dollar bills. She’s hungry, and if you can feed her, she’s going to spread ’em. Sometimes you have to force the food in her mouth, but as long as it gets in there you’ve won half the battle to the pussy.

#9. You Get Discounts on Electric Wheelchairs and Motorized Scooters.

Anywhere you go where they sell wheelchairs and motorized scooters, you get a discount. I buy them all the time, though I don’t need them for myself. Rather, I buy them for my game, it’s just part of my logistical tool set. I have a collection of wheelchairs I bought cheap. As I always say, “always have a spare wheelchair, just in case the first one breaks.”

Also you get free handicapped parking too. As long as you are escorting (or corralling) hoards of fat mammoth hoes, you don’t need a legitimate handicapped sign in your windshield. Fuck the system.

#10. It Will Improve Your Cooking.

In Big Game, you gotta feed your bitches. And you have to get better at it each time if you want to progress and get easier big bangs.

Recently I made cannolis for a special BBW… With cum filling.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Read More: The logistics of banging fatter women.

No Woman Is Too Big For Love

Is that cleave up there her pussy ?

You known you’ve gotten real deep into the game when you start to realize that it isn’t about what you say or do anymore, but rather it’s about you and her, together. When it comes to love, larger women are no exception. THEY DESERVE IT TOO. Being a big game player requires having a big heart; and the BBWs that cross my path know my BBH (Big Black Heart) is at least as big as my BBC. As a man, you are more than just the size of your cock. Having a big heart opens you up to her feelings and emotions (and her pussy) in a way that borders telepathy, that way you can know exactly what she’s feeling beneath her slabs, and whether or not she’s really hungry.

One reason having a big heart is important is because it allows you to establish a channel of emotional empathy with your BBW in a way that leads to more sex. Let me explain this: as you know, you can’t just assume a BBW is hungry automatically, that is offensive! Even if she’s actually hungry, the timing has to be just right or else you are crossing the line in a way that’s politically incorrect. I use food all the time in my game to get BBWs in bed; but I do it the right way, using my heart as my guide, that way she knows I’m being real with her. As us black folks often say, “real knows real.”

When you open up your heart and show a big girl love, it’s amazing how quickly things can happen. Often I’m reminded of this when I swing by McDonald’s for a late night snack, cause I always end up coming back home for a feeding frenzy with a random BBW. It isn’t anything like “swag” or what I say that gets her to come home with me, no, it’s my smile, it’s my for-real aura, and maybe my chef hat too. By the time I wheelchair her over to my big white van it’s time to turn off game and let it all happen naturally, like nature intended with the birds and the bees, and the elephants 😉

Sometimes things happen so quickly that I’m forced to scout for a location on site.

Bitches love getting caught behind Officer Big Mac’s bars. Adds a nice S&M touch 😉

That’s when things get super freaky real quick. One time I shoved a whole happy meal up a BBW’s ass and nothing came out except the toy — damn, I knew she was hungry. All I had to do was open up and show her that I’m real with myself, and my intuition led me to do the right things, making her feel okay with all of it at the same time. That’s when BBWs show you their nasty side. That’s when you can gag a bitch with french fries and drench her with your special sauce (I use Nigel’s house mayo). I always like to spread it around her slabs with a basting brush after I’m finished, otherwise if it stays on her face she might drown, and that wouldn’t be cool. Plus she can spend the rest of the week trying to scrub it out of her slabs, thinking about the fun time she had at McDonald’s with Chef Nigel. Bitches like being used up by a man like that, by a man that they think loves them.

A few busted nuts later it’s time to call it a night and spend some quality time together. That’s when I like to dim the lights, turn up the gas on my fireplace, and lay back on my couch as I relax and sing hymns to the lord. Usually by this time my BBW is too tired from all the intense pounding, so I roll her up in a tarp and shove more french fries in her mouth to calm her down. A little tough love goes a long way too. Delivering discipline to your BBW takes heart to prevent you from going over board, and trust me, I’ve gone way over board. Nowadays, If she farts too much and stinks up my living room, I’ll fart on her face.

follow me on twitter for more big game stuff @NigelBigGame

Baby, ain’t No Shame in having a Big Frame

My new ride: Drive-thru/Drive-by gangbang mobile. Comes with  a 26″ happy meal 😉

Fat Acceptance is all about making a big woman feel comfortable in her own body, and making her feel special too. If you think otherwise you aren’t going to get very far in this big game business. Building comfort is one of the main pillars of big game hustling, and it isn’t over after sex either. Extra large girls need extra large comfort, because their self-esteem is a fragile joke to say the least — why else would a “Fat Acceptance” movement even exist?

I see it all the time when I hit up the malls just to creep around the food court: big bitches sitting real low, trying to hide their mountainous flesh under a table while they eat. Usually I spot her from a distance: her face sticking up from a table like a wackamole popping out for some crack. Once I get close enough, I’m usually pleasantly surprised and amazed at her ability to hide all her shit under the table. It’s always some kind of Houdini shit. Then I get that feeling… It’s the same feeling you got as a kid when you opened a happy meal and got two toys instead of one, or extra fries. And truth is, she feels exactly that way too when I roll up and my eyes pop out to zoom in on that ass. I got a real happy meal for her though.

Usually I bring my aura of comfort with me by visualizing myself as her favorite comfort food when I approach, and sometimes I also eat next to her for a little while. I take it real slow, whereas other amateur chubsters fuck up by opening their mouth right away, asking her about her size or saying shit like “you hungry?” They end up reminding her that she’s a fattie by insinuating it. Never make her feel fat! Instead you gotta wait a bit, be patient. I like to wait until she farts, then I take the blame for her and act like it was my fault; I apologize and try to fan it away from her so she can continue eating in peace. That’s how a real man shows a big woman he’s a true gentleman.

Big bitches have bigger intestines so they have more gas build up; a lot of that gas gets released during and after sex, and boy do they get self conscious about it and flip out. Again, I turn this around by starting a farting contest in bed. See, i’m keeping it real positive, making it into fun game. And I’ve got to admit that farting is a huge turn on. When she farts during sex, man, I lose myself in the moment, in the passion… especially when it’s louder than her moans. If she can toot long enough, I go balls deep in that ass and create a new instrument: an anal jizz fart.

When you are fucking a big bitch, her wet sweaty flabs will flap together and make tons of fart noises anyway — it’s like a symphony of farts — so she’ll feel self-conscious no matter what. You’ve got to be ready to flip it around, turn it into something positive and fun. Another example: sometimes when she farts, I’ll try to guess what she ate from the smell. You can’t go wrong there, because no matter what you guess her last meal was, you’ll be right, cause she ate everything. Then it’s her turn to guess when I pop my dick in her mouth and she can figure out what I ate (usually they guess McRib sandwich).

But it isn’t just farts, this applies to any area that a big woman might be self conscious about. Farting was just an easy example. Look at it this way: you have to visualize each BBW (big beautiful woman) as a damsel in distress, trapped in her own flesh, and then bring her out — rescue her and make it fun. It’s all bullshit, cause you know I want them to stay fat as fuck, but hey you gotta play the game. Hat tip to the motherfuckers that get it now.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Silence of the Hams

Recently a very clever brother I know, we’ll call him JW, came up with a very interesting tactic that I decided to borrow (thanks brother). I’m sure he won’t mind since he’s left the game to live an ascetic existence in the Caribbean. Anyway, I’ve already successfully incorporated this method into my own chubby chasing arsenal. Let me break it down for you.

The idea behind this: Instead of going to Walmart all the time, why not get these mammoth-walrus sluts to waddle there way to my place? Ahah, light bulbs lit up and then exploded in my head like fireworks when I figured out how to do this shit. It’s simple: just pretend you are some kind of talent scout for a beauty pageant or modeling agency. I started putting out flyers and ads on craigslist for a BBW beauty pageant promoting fat acceptance. Here’s the flyer I used:

The results were off the chain. It was like something out of Hansel and Gretel, and I was the witch with the gingerbread house; but instead it’s made of pizza and cornbread too. In fact, the auditions were held at my house, and I laid out trails of cornbread covered with nutella from the front door to my bedroom. When each BBW entered through the front door for the audition, she knew this is the place to show off her fat acceptance, where she can comfortably embrace her lack of willpower.

When a fattie approaches, I leave my door unlocked and open it just a crack, so it swings open when she knocks. As she enters, the BBW sees the trail of food and hears the voice “Come on in baby. Treat-yo self.” It’s my voice coming from the bedroom, as I lie in wait for the impending ambush. She starts eating the food that leads to my bedroom, as I put on my ski mask and turn up some R&B music. As she follows the trail of food into the hallway, getting closer, the tension thickens.

The sound of her chewing gets louder and louder as she gets closer, and my dick gets harder and harder as I hear her grunting like a hog while she eats. My body starts sweating, as I become more impetuous. Finally (this is where my experience in Mixed Martial Arts comes in handy) I leap out of the bedroom and judo throw her extra-large ass to the ground, then hogtie her up. Now the pipe laying commences. My joint is harder than wood in wintertime when I plunge it into that pussy, balls deep. It goes in so hard sparks fly out because of all the friction. She squeals in pain with the nutella and cornbread still stuck in her mouth, while I’m throwing up her flabs like a pizza chef tosses dough in the air. Finally smoke starts coming out that pussy — time to switch holes! After I break off a nut or two in that ass, I turn up some James Brown and bust a move, woooo. That’s how I celebrate a fine day. After beaten that fat pussy up, time to put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down; open a few windows to let the tension out, and hear the birds sing.

If she is still around, I let her have some cookie dough as a treat. BBWs get hungry after sex. Plus It definitely ain’t rape if she licks cookie dough off my balls.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Why big women prefer Brothers

If you ask me, Fat is the new black; and all these Fat, Big Beautiful Women want is acceptance. They just want to be accepted, no matter what their size is, rather than be discriminated against. And let me tell you somethin’, discrimination is the consequence of racism — where there’s cornbread, there’s chicken, and where there’s discrimination there’s racism. But if you think racism is only about color, you’re probably a racist and don’t even know it yet. Racism is like a shape shifting monster that’s hiding in a dark room, waiting to rape you. It can transform itself into discrimination against someone’s culture/religion, sexual-orientations, and in this case: shape and size. This is why we have the Fat Acceptance Movement and places like Reddit, it’s like the underground railroad for fat people.

Often big women are discriminated against because of their size: men turn them down, employers turn them down, flight attendants kick them out of the plane because they take up more seating than they purchased… All that hassling, but they never bother getting to know the BBW and how beautiful she is on the inside. It’s discrimination out of ignorance, it’s Fascism against fat. Sometimes men are so cruel that they will actually get drunk and hook up with these big beautiful beasts, only to run off once they’ve sobered up, and laugh about it with their buddies. It’s a hump and dump game, but without any feeding; and that is no way to treat these gentle giants — a real man at least feeds his bitches.

This is where Black men come in. When a fat (white) woman sees a brother, she sees a man that understands what it’s like to be hated, to feel discriminated against, and she sees this as a man she can vibe with, that will feel her, empathizing with her struggle. It’s also an opportunity for her to get some dick. She sees black men as opportunist of ass, taking every opportunity for it, because they believe in accepting people. She knows brother’s typically love big thick asses too 😉

Anyway, the point is… they know that we know that they know that we both love eating at McDonald’s. Now not all brother’s love fat girls, but a disproportionately larger number of us will hit that BBW pussy, whereas most wussy-ass white/asian boys unwittingly discriminate against fat ass. It’s thanks to black guys (yours truly) that are showing the way to empowerment and self-acceptance, helpin’ fat women to embrace their bodies and love themselves. Without us, being a fat woman would be so much more painful; every fat hoe would be forced to buy into the fascist Hollywood stereotypes of beauty — huffing and puffing at the gym as she turns into a twig. Every good, fat accepting black man is a fat bitch’s Harriet Tubman, showing her the way through the underground railroad to fat acceptance dick. Amen, A-fucking-men…

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

With huge size comes huge responsibility.

“Daddy, why is my dick so big?” These are the words I remember so vividly, that one terrible day when I came home from school in tears; I was only 10 years old. My new step-dad was hanging out on the front porch, smoking a joint in his rocking chair when I asked him. I told him I couldn’t handle all the teasing and insults from all the other kids at school about my penis being too big. At first he just laughed at me and didn’t understand, then he told me “shut the hell up you idiot” and ripped off a huge ass branch from the tree in the front yard — the kind that black parents typically use to discipline their children — and beat my ass with it. My grandmother showed up and stopped my step dad, grabbing the branch out of his hand. I thought I had been rescued, but it turned out she just wanted a piece of the action. She beat me even harder while the whole neighborhood cheered her on. Growing up black in the south is not easy.

From then on I kept my emotions to myself; and eventually the teasing also stopped, but things didn’t necessarily get better. While other boys openly fantasized about becoming professional football players or baseball players, my ever growing dick brought me nightmares of being confined to a wheelchair. I couldn’t dream like they could, I couldn’t feel comfortable in my own foreskin. Because of this, it became harder and harder for me to socialize with other boys. Instead of playing basketball, football or baseball with other boys, I was wrestling with wild hogs in the mud, all by myself.

Drawing I made while I was in elementary school. My worst nightmare was that I’d end up in a wheelchair.

As I got older, it became a sexual insecurity. And It didn’t help that every pair of pants I bought, within a couple months, started to get holes in the front where my tip hung out. I never could maintain a nice pair of pants. Some of the girls made fun of me and called me patches, because I had patched up my pants to cover up all the holes and stains. At one point my dick was big enough that it would sweat all on its own, leaving hot sweat spots on my pants. It looked like I peed my pants sometimes, shit. And in high-school, where having a bigger dick was all the rage and gossip, you’d think I’d be the top dog. Not at all, every bitch in town knew there was something wrong with Nigel the recluse. I felt like I was the Hunchback of Notre Dame or something.

It wasn’t until one hot Sunday at church that my perspective and self-esteem changed. After the church service and singing, the preacher pulled me aside for a little talk. He told me that he knew God had a plan for me. He told me that he had noticed that I had an extra beat in my walk, an extra skip in my step. He didn’t go into any explicit details beyond that, but he was an intuitive man of God. I knew that he knew that I possessed the staff of Moses. He told me that with a great gift comes great responsibility, and that’s why I gotta have a big heart too. After I parted with the preacher I headed outside to mingle with the crowd that had gathered for their after-church gossip. And I swear to God that sun rays were shinnin’ down on me, and also shinnin’ down on this very big lady with a small hat and a huge fan. Her ass was of biblical proportions: something you’d need to carry on Noah’s arc. And yet that mammoth momma looked sad, depressed… And she was dressed to the nines. What the hell I thought. So I walked on up to her with my 3 beat stroll and asked her if she had a man: a tear fell from her face. She told me that god made her so big that she could never find the right man. I put my arm around her and the spirit of God spit holy game from out my mouth. I lost my virginity that night! Praise the lord for showing me the path to the P. Through Jesus, I had discovered that my gift from God was perfectly suited for bigger women; my joint was perfect for flossing each slab and buttering every roll in her bakery. While other men fear Goliath pussy, I slayed it like David. I went on a path to feed the hungry and help the needy. I got the biggest, baddest, fattest ass in town when I accepted Jesus into my game. He showed me that my game is big game.

Be charitable with the dick, let God into your game. If you have a gift, you have to use it to help those in need, of all sizes. With a huge dick comes huge responsibility, so you gotta have a huge heart.