Silence of the Hams

Recently a very clever brother I know, we’ll call him JW, came up with a very interesting tactic that I decided to borrow (thanks brother). I’m sure he won’t mind since he’s left the game to live an ascetic existence in the Caribbean. Anyway, I’ve already successfully incorporated this method into my own chubby chasing arsenal. Let me break it down for you.

The idea behind this: Instead of going to Walmart all the time, why not get these mammoth-walrus sluts to waddle there way to my place? Ahah, light bulbs lit up and then exploded in my head like fireworks when I figured out how to do this shit. It’s simple: just pretend you are some kind of talent scout for a beauty pageant or modeling agency. I started putting out flyers and ads on craigslist for a BBW beauty pageant promoting fat acceptance. Here’s the flyer I used:

The results were off the chain. It was like something out of Hansel and Gretel, and I was the witch with the gingerbread house; but instead it’s made of pizza and cornbread too. In fact, the auditions were held at my house, and I laid out trails of cornbread covered with nutella from the front door to my bedroom. When each BBW entered through the front door for the audition, she knew this is the place to show off her fat acceptance, where she can comfortably embrace her lack of willpower.

When a fattie approaches, I leave my door unlocked and open it just a crack, so it swings open when she knocks. As she enters, the BBW sees the trail of food and hears the voice “Come on in baby. Treat-yo self.” It’s my voice coming from the bedroom, as I lie in wait for the impending ambush. She starts eating the food that leads to my bedroom, as I put on my ski mask and turn up some R&B music. As she follows the trail of food into the hallway, getting closer, the tension thickens.

The sound of her chewing gets louder and louder as she gets closer, and my dick gets harder and harder as I hear her grunting like a hog while she eats. My body starts sweating, as I become more impetuous. Finally (this is where my experience in Mixed Martial Arts comes in handy) I leap out of the bedroom and judo throw her extra-large ass to the ground, then hogtie her up. Now the pipe laying commences. My joint is harder than wood in wintertime when I plunge it into that pussy, balls deep. It goes in so hard sparks fly out because of all the friction. She squeals in pain with the nutella and cornbread still stuck in her mouth, while I’m throwing up her flabs like a pizza chef tosses dough in the air. Finally smoke starts coming out that pussy — time to switch holes! After I break off a nut or two in that ass, I turn up some James Brown and bust a move, woooo. That’s how I celebrate a fine day. After beaten that fat pussy up, time to put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down; open a few windows to let the tension out, and hear the birds sing.

If she is still around, I let her have some cookie dough as a treat. BBWs get hungry after sex. Plus It definitely ain’t rape if she licks cookie dough off my balls.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

You gotta feed your bitches

So wait hold up son, you think you can handle being a Chubby Chaser and Fat Sex Dungeon Master? You think you can manage a harem of obedient fat sex slaves? You’re crazy… Unless you follow my chubster 101 advice.

The secret to keeping any fat woman obedient is through her stomach. That’s right, let me repeat: the key to the pussy is through her stomach. You gotta feed ’em if you wanna bang them. Why else do you think I became a professional chef? I’ll save that chef part for another post. Anyway, it isn’t as simple as calling up Domino’s and getting a few extra large pizzas for your hoes. You might think that makes you a gentleman, but the truth is they can order up extra-large sausage pizzas on their own — without your sausage present. However, If you can cook a decent meal, you have a serious edge over other chubby chasers that depend on Pizza Hut and Chinese take out. Not only is homemade food far better, It’s also sexier and more seductive for her to see you with nothing on but your apron while you’re making a gourmet meal.

Photo of my brick oven. I’m making two pizzas: one for her and one for me. Makes her feel special; then I serve her chocolate sausage pizza for dessert to make her anus feel famous.

When you can cook her gourmet food, she becomes dependent on you for that high quality food. You’ve possessed her taste buds, you own her palate, you’ve got her. On top of this, she’ll eventually associate the good taste and feeling of eating that food with you. By creating this dependency, she is forced to obey your every command as a submissive sex slave, or else no more food. In general, it’s a great way to reward her for sex.

However, when she doesn’t obey you, you have to punish your fat sex slave by cutting that bitch off from your food supply. It’s that simple. If she doesn’t put out when and how you want her to, and If she doesn’t totally behave as a proper chubby slave, you cut that bitch off — no more fried meatballs and spaghetti with pesto, no more deep fried tacos, no more dutch chocolate pastries and pies. Of course it’s always necessary to follow this up with an extra punishment. I personally jump on top of my slaves, forcing them to give me piggy back ride that are painful for them, this coincides with the zapping each slab of fat with my cattle prod. Another great punishment involves pouring rainbow sprinkles on her muffin tops and biting into them hard enough to cause severe pain and bleeding. I love biting muffin tops, it’s so sexy! And with rainbow sprinkles, it’s tasty too. You can even use this technique to train your other fat sex slaves to punish each other.

But in conclusion, proper fat sex slave management revolves around your ability to feed your bitches, and you should feed them well as a reward for obedience. When they misbehave, you cut them off as punishment, and punish them more for good measure. After you punish them, reward your BBWs with some candy.

Other chubby chasers will hate me when they find out… I’ve got my own candy shop. How can they compete with that? My double fudge lollipop melts in a fat bitch’s mouth.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

The Food Truck Experiment

Fat acceptance on wheels baby. Are you hungry now?

Check out my new ride. I had to finance that bitch, and use my house as collateral, but fuck that place. This is better than a house, it’s a fornication fortress on wheels. It was worth all the trouble. Since I’ve purchased this foodtruck and acquired my business license, I’ve seen my notch count go up and way out the ball park. It’s the perfect bait to get the whales out of the ocean. From feedin’ to breedin’, I left them fatties bleedin’. Every step of the way my man, got the right plan. Let me lay it out.

After getting a business loan from the bank, I walked out like a boss. I could hear Rick Ross music playing in the background, I knew I had it made. After getting that squared away, I went to my friend and bought the truck, got the windows tinted, and bought industrial grade cooking supplies, appliances, and lots of food. Also had to get extra suspension and support beams welded on the bottom of the truck to support extra weight (you should know why).

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Nigel, why didn’t you just get an ice cream truck? Wouldn’t that be easier and cheaper?” The problem with the ice cream truck is that it attracts more kids, and I’m not running Michael Jackson game here, so fuck that idea. Kids just get in the way. Also, try fucking a big girl in an ice cream truck: all the ice cream would melt at the very least, and my accountant would beat my ass for something like that. I chose the food truck because It allows me show off my gourmet cooking prowess, which really reels in the big game bitches. Finally, foodtrucks are bigger than ice cream trucks, so there’s more room to fuck.

So the point of the food truck is not merely to fatten my wallet by feeding hoes, no. It is about that next level, 2.0 game and logistics. It’s attraction and seduction (feeding and breeding) all in one place, on wheels, and in my control as the owner. Everywhere I stop I pop (ass) like you put poptarts in a toaster. It feels like cheating actually. Some locations I park at and serve ’em up: in front of the the dollar store, Rent-A-Center, Walmart parking lot, in front of first-cash-advance/checks cashed locations, and in front of grocery stores. The latter is one of the absolute best places to set up shop because when fat women go grocery shopping, they get hungry looking at all that food. They can’t eat the groceries until they buy them and get back home. That’s where chef Nigel comes in with the food truck and facilitates their need to feed. Oink Oink baby.

As you can see from the picture, I specialize in gourmet soulfood, but with a modern twist: like fried chicken sandwiches (in between cornbread-waffles), fried cornbread biscuits with secret sauce, fried corn on the cobs, fried chicken with beer batter, popcorn shrimp gumbo, and pizza. As you can see, I love cooking. I love serving food to fat women, seeing the look on their eyes — It’s like Christmas. Little do they know how much blood and sweat, and love I put into their food. It gives each dish extra flavor, that secret sauce. That’s when I wink back at them as I see them get all that food, that secret sauce all up in their mouth. A tent pops up in my pants. Once they get a taste of my flavor, my spice, they’re immediately hungry for more: all I have to do is shift gears.That’s when I serve dessert, “baby, that cornbread-waffle fried chicken sandwich was heavy, you should wash it down with some dick.”

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame