How to Go Down on Bigger Women

Nigel with a fresh kill

I know what you must be thinking, “but Nigel, how do you get your head in there, or even find that pussy?” Good question. Trust me when I tell you that it isn’t as hard as it looks, but much harder; and it’s all absolutely necessary, because a woman’s pussy can only take so much of a beating until it needs a very gentle, healing massage. Besides, it’s a nice thing to do for your BBW once in a while so she can feel some pleasure too, and know that you appreciate her. When she sees all the intense effort you put into eating out her inner beef slabs, she’ll feel more than obligated to continue allowing herself to be your BBW mistress.

So before you just dive in, stop right there.. First you have to make sure that beef is clean and kosher. This might seem obvious, but larger women often have greater hygiene problems; often a large gunt with a fat ass/thighs will make it difficult for her to even wipe her own ass after taking a dump, with her fecal matter getting compounded over time. Even without ancient doodoo hanging out near her pussy, her nether region is home to all kinds of yeast, mold, and sometimes mushrooms too — and hey, those extra mushrooms go great on that pizza you’ll feed her later. Anyway, this is why it’s important to get a fresh sponge (that you never plan on using again) and pull out a large wading pool that’s big enough for her ass; because you’ll have to get your BBW to bend over and spread her legs so you can reach in and scrub that shit out. If you don’t like getting your hand stuck inside her fleshy abyss, you can always take her with you to the car wash at 4 am and have her get out and spread her legs. Important: make sure there’s no surveillance cameras at the car wash.

Now after all that hard work and preparation, you still can’t put your crabfest 2010 bib on just yet. Remember, it’s painful and difficult for any BBW to keep her legs spread open, especially when your head is up her ass. Her legs will give out sooner or later, and her pussy cavity will collapse around your head, crushing it instantly. So any hazardous situation like this requires the proper gear, that’s why I highly recommend wearing a helmet of some kind that isn’t so big that you can’t squeeze your head up her ass. Another tip is to use some kind of oil, WD-40 works great. Last but definitely not least, make sure you have a forced leg spreading device to keep her legs spread open, or just tie her legs to bed posts to keep them open. Whatever works. A fork lift is another option if you’re dealing with SSBBWs (Super Sized Big Beautiful Whores). But hey, that’s a whole n’other level, my level. After I eat ’em out, super sized bitches get super sized dick!

Once you got that accomplished, now you have to find it. I recommend the smell test, which is self explanatory. However, if you’re not a natural like me, then the next best thing is poking her ass until you hear her scream bloody murder. Great way to do this is with a corndog, because it’s warm and soft, and you can put it in her mouth afterwards to add an extra-sensual touch. If she asks where it’s been, just tell her you dipped it in chocolate. Or ketchup if there’s blood.

corndog

Ass to mouth with a corndog. That’s what I’m talkin’bout baby.

If things get too hot, put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down.

Follow me on twitter ! @NigelBigGame

The 10 Commandments of Big Game Hustling.

The 10 Commandments of Chubby Chasing.

Sometimes posts get long and the critical information you need — the tips and tactics — get lost in my flamboyant, eloquent fancy writing style. So as a man of God It’s my duty to simplify your spiritual journey to Big Fat Ass ‘n’ Pussy, as well as helping you define your moral compass at the same time. I’m going to whip it out like Moses with his staff, and lay it out for you to see all in a single post. This is not going to be your typical blog roundup post. I’m doing this 10 commandments style, bringing you holy Big Game wisdom to help you with your Big Game Hustle. Amen.

1. Feed your Big Beautiful Women. These women are hungry and they need your help. In the Bible God tells us to feed the hungry, so this is really killing two birds with one stone. You win points with God and you get her excited to come back your place for more food at the same time. Follow this advice and you’ll get two thumbs up from God when you hit that mammoth pussy. After a night of banging out earth-quaking-ass, don’t forget to make her breakfast in bed the morning after.

2. Be Blessed where the Sun don’t Shine. If you manage to get a BBW back to your place with the pretense of getting some food, she’ll be expecting to devour a serious sized summer sausage too. There is a very good reason for this: the physics of penetration. You won’t make a dent in those thick rolling slabs and thunder thighs with a small Asian dick. If you want to be a Big Game Hunter, you gotta use a high caliber bullet. This is where black guys come in 😉

3. Help Guide Fat Women to become BBWs. The journey from fat slut to Big Beautiful Woman is a spiritual one. As an ambassador of fat ass gettin’, it is your job to guide each fattie to BBW-hood, by making lewd comments and suggesting things that accentuate her chubbiness. Tell her it makes your dick hard. Tell her to let the flabs hang out. Tell her that her muffin tops look tasty like real muffins. Tell her you want to jizz in her insulin pump. Play video games with her after you fuck her. It’s a wonderful sedentary activity that will later force her to believe in body-acceptance because video games make you fatter.

4. Fulfill her rape fantasy. Fat women feel an intense urge to be wanted, even though most men are afraid to harpoon big punani. They develop imaginary stalkers and rapists to fill the void; that way they have something to talk about when their thinner friends talk about sex.

5. Become a Better Man by Increasing your Notch Count. God created all men equal. But if there is one thing that separates the men from the boys, it’s a high notch count. In America, with the rising rate of obesity, the only solution is to become a chubby chaser.

6. Protect your BBWs from the outside world. Many extremely large women are discriminated against, persecuted and made to feel ashamed of their size. The largest ones are gawked at like they’re side show freaks. This is why it’s important to insulate your big-bitches from the outside world. As soon as you snatch one up, lock her up in your fat love fortress so the outside world doesn’t harm her anymore.

7. Embrace and share the gospel of Fat Acceptance. As men doing God’s work, It is absolutely imperative to show our love for Big Beautiful Women. One way is to stand up and shout it out loud, but the best way is to practice what you preach by bending that big behemoth slut over and letting her feel it too.

8. Be Safe. Wear your hard hat.

9. Become a Walmart Shopper. Walmart is the most successful retailer in America, because it was God’s will. And God wants us to shop there for our groceries 😉

10. Her Stomach is the key to her Heart. Learn how to cook, and how to cook well if you want to break through her big fat resistance to sex. Nothing eliminates last minute resistance like a fatigue inducing insulin rush. Whooooo, who the fuck needs Chloroform when you can use fried-chicken-alfredo-pizza and Faygo soda?