How to go on a Dinner Date (with a Bigger Woman) in 6 steps!

fat woman eating out

So you’ve been wanting to take a bigger girl out to dinner, but you’re worried it might not be affordable or doable, well think again. If you like big girls like I do, you don’t mind the idea of a dinner date, in fact you look forward to it because you love watching girls eat. Great, because a dinner date is one of your best opportunities to impress a big girl, showing her that you’re a true gentleman that cares about her, that wants to treat her right. With these easy steps, you can wheelchair her ass up the table and order the food in peace, knowing full well you’ll save a lot of money and bang her out in no time flat.

Some back story: As you know, I’ve gotten many quickies with my foodtruck over the years. I’ll be honest, the foodtruck was a logistical crutch. All I would have to do is invite them inside for some extra corndogs after making some small talk. That’s how I got 90% of my quick bangs. But now it’s in the shop for repairs. It may never hit the road ever again, in fact it’ll probably go to foodtruck heaven after all them times the big ladies and I shook it up. Now it looks like it was totaled in a car crash. God bless the foodtruck, rest in pieces baby. Anyway, now I started taking girls out to dinner again, and I’ve perfected into a 6 step plan.

Step 1: Look for BBWs on Craigslist’s dating sections, try to find a bigger girl that is looking for romance. Recently I lucked out when I spotted a post with the title: Very Big Beautiful Woman looking for her Prince Charming. Since her picture was that of a very plus sized black woman, my response email started off with “Redbone Romeo just got his paycheck.” That was the subject line, attached to the email was a semi nude picture of myself, one that I photoshopped to make my skin lighter. I kept the message short, mentioning plans for a dinner date. It only took two emails to get her number.

Step 2: Get her to agree to meet you at the restaurant. If you pick a good, fairly upscale restaurant, then flaking isn’t really an issue, especially If she thinks you’re going to pay. If you can’t decide on a restaurant, a steak house is always a good choice. Again, don’t worry if the restaurant is pricey, and don’t let her worry about it, because it won’t matter. What she won’t know is that the free meal is just bait to get her ass out, into our Big Game trap.

If you have to pick her up, make sure you are driving a large vehicle that can support heavier loads.

Quick Story: One BBW I took out to dinner recently, she needed me to pick her up, so I borrowed my friend’s pickup-truck. When I pulled up to her house and she waddled out, my jaw just dropped. God damnnn, her ass was so thick it could have sunk the Titanic. She was pushing 600 pounds already, I had to pull out a special ramp just to help her into the back of the truck. It was hard work that took a lot of muscle, phew… Once she was in, I tied her down with rope, put up the oversized load sign on the back, and we were off. She moaned loudly every time I went over speed bumps.

Also, be sure to pick a restaurant that’s out of town, I’ll explain why soon.

Step 3: Once you help her inside, know how to deal with the waiter or manager if they have any issues. Usually getting a table isn’t problematic, but you’ll start to notice the manager watching over you like a hawk by the time the waiter asks you if you’re ready to order.

Quick Story: One time my girl and I were peacefully reading our menus when the manager approached us with a nasty look on his face, and said “sorry to interrupt your dining experience, but I just want to personally take your order to make sure you get what you need.” He gave me a good stern look, then looked at my date, and then me again; I knew what he was really thinking. You probably guessed it, he was wondering if we would actually be able to pay for the enormous amount of food she would probably eat. To top it off, being black in the south doesn’t exactly help. So I handled this situation in the most dignified manner I knew how, by loudly proclaiming to my girl, “Baby, you can eat WHATEVER you want! Don’t worry about what he thinks.” And I said it loud enough that the whole room could hear it, cause that’s how you amog the manager of a restaurant. Then I heard a deafening applause. I had received a standing ovation from every patron in the room, so I just had to get out of my seat, and bow deeply. It felt like I was about to accept a Noble prize in Fat Acceptance or Big Game. What an honor… And of course with every patron on my side, the manager had no choice but to accept defeat, and let us order as much food as we wanted.

Step 4: Get her to eat a lot of food and consume alcohol, that way she’ll have to go to the restroom, where you can get to business. We all know that big girls are severely gluttonous, and they certainly know it, but on a first date they might be ashamed of their natural habits. If she doesn’t want to order a lot of food, just order extra for yourself and eat it in front of her. Order a handful of mixed drinks too. She won’t be able to resist the temptation of eating some of your food and drinking it up. Be sure to select foods that have a decent amount of fiber.

nigel out on a dinner date

Nigel on a dinner date.

Step 5: Wait for her to excuse herself to go to the restroom, then follow her in. If you followed through with Step 4 properly, she’ll have to use the restroom at some point to take a shit. Just follow her in. When you find her stall, tell her you brought a corndog to keep her company, then whip out your cock in front of her. Remember, bigger women rarely get any opportunities for intercourse, so the chance for a seedy bathroom surprise will be hard for her to turn down. Rip her clothes off, shake up the stall, and make sure you hit that pussy so hard she can’t get back up. After you bust a nut, tell her you will be at the table waiting for her, while she puts herself back together.

Step 6: Get the hell out of dodge, as quickly as possible! Get out of that restaurant, and get out of town as quickly as possible, before the waiter even totals the bill.

This is where I have to follow my own advice. One time after nailing my girl in the restroom, I made the mistake of walking back to my table. The manager was right there holding the bill in my face, it was like $550 dollars. Shit, I wasn’t about to stick around and clean their dishes for a week. I had to think fast. I tried to explain that I left my girl’s insulin in the car. He barely bought it. So I briskly but calmly made my exit, then I got in my truck and hit the gas!

Read More: Fitness For Heavier Women: Stay Healthy At Any Size

Add me on twitter: @nigelbiggame

Big Women Need Dick More Than Ever.

Bigger women have it hard these days: hip problems, thyroid problems, trouble getting out of bed problems, and sometimes they get their feet cut off because diabetes… They’re 99 problems have 99 problems each. A lot of the bigger BBWs are officially disabled and require special accommodations and monitoring services like Life Alert. Often when they call for help, the dispatchers that are supposed to help them just laugh instead and order her a pizza. Larger women face extraordinary amounts of pain and humiliation every day, and even though they won’t admit it, they’re desperate for any opportunity for sex. We have to show these bigger women more love and respect than ever before, because now we can! 🙂

The video below is of a large woman that’s a News anchor, and even she was bullied over email. It brings me pain watching this video (SMH… unbelievable). She needs a hug, and some serious dick.

And you bet if I hit her up on the street she’d be easier than getting fried shrimp in The Big Easy.

It makes no sense to me why or how the sight of adipose on some woman’s body evokes so much hatred, and so much rage in so many crazy white guys on the internet. A man known as Heartiste (most likely a Klansman) recently blogged about 11 Things You Should Always Say To A Fat Girl, which wasn’t very nice — In another post I’ll revise that list reflect my disposition. He seems like a smart guy, which is why I’m still scratching my head, but you know what, it’s his loss! More fat bitches for me. He’s got his 11 things to say, while I’m laying some dark pipe on 11 new BBWs from Craigslist.

See, while other guys just sit around at their laptops complaining about fat women getting fatter, I do something about it. I hate complainers because I’m an opportunist that hustles hard. I see an opportunity: A bunch of thick white women that can’t get no dick, and I make it work for me. There’s literally a deficit in dick, and guys all over are turning these BBWs down. What the hell, I love it. America is the land opportunity indeed. God bless America, and God bless these bullies. Thank you Heartiste, you are making it easier for me. All these bitches will coming crying to my food truck for their favorite comfort food, with an extra large serving of dark meat. 😉

bbwsmvchart

Thanks to bullies, sometimes all I have to do is show up at the Ham Hock Saloon or any other BBW club pushing in a wheel chair, and that’s it. I’ve got a big bird ready to come to the motel with me and get her mouth stuffed with my cocopuffs. Hell, I can just bang ’em out behind a dumpster and shove moldy french fries up their ass. Now don’t get me wrong, Big Game isn’t easy; you still have to have very tight logistics and a decent knowledge of physics, be able to appreciate great food, and dead lift at least 350 pounds. But other then that, the BBWs themselves are more open to sex than ever before, I’ll admit it. I wouldn’t call myself an opportunist, but rather a hustler on a good run when I get pull in these hogs.

Nigel in the club

Keep on keepin’ on.

Read More: Haters Gonna Hate

Add me on twitter: @nigelbiggame

Finding the Perfect BBW (Big Beautiful Woman)

Black player holding a white BBW

It was a usual Friday afternoon. I was at Costco to stock up, that’s where I usually shop to save money on my food bill.

By the way, let me emphasize this:

Buying in bulk is really a must if you even hope to game BBWs — you gotta feed your bitches and still have money left over to pay your other bills.

Black guy feeding huge white BBW

One time my junk food bill was so high that I didn’t pay my electric bill, and I spent a whole month fucking BBWs with nothing but a flash light and night vision goggles. But that’s another story.

Anyway I was at Costco, and usually I only see two types of women there: ugly ass ethnic women buying sacks of rice, and BBWs buying large quantities of junk food. But wow, there’s so many fatties there that it’s worth developing a new style of game: Costco Game.

Costco is a great place to find BBWs, second only to Craigslist!

That Friday I was pushing my giant Costco cart, breezing through the aisles. I swear to god I wasn’t there to find pussy, but lo and behold there was a woman so big she barely fit onto her motorized scooter — an SSBBW for sure. Her ass was sagging over the seat and damn near dragging on the ground.

I love a woman with a thick ass, and the thicker the better. Too much of a good thing is a GREAT thing for this brother.

While I was getting ready to approach her, running through the lines I’d use in my head, and admiring her huge bottom, she fell over in her scooter. Her massive body weight struck against the giant shelf holding all the heavy creates of wholesale food, with the shelf itself leaning over. An alarmed sounded, and all the kings horses and all the king’s men (all the Costco employees) had to put her back on her scooter again. I didn’t have a chance to run my game on her unfortunately, and so I moved on.

Later I was selecting fine cheeses in the meat and dairy section when I saw a small girl with a surprisingly thick ass, one that just popped out at me as if I was wearing 3D glasses or something. It looked like someone threw a grenade in her pants and the explosion was still happening. Something was up, cause she looked like she weighed a measly 170 pounds. I thought to myself, “how could such a small short woman have such a huge ass and not need a wheel chair?” I was about to go get her one! Being a thick ass lover, I knew had to make my move.

“Excuse me, I’ve got gas. My bad girl.” Was my opening line after I heard her fart.

I often have to wait until a BBW farts to make a move, because they become even more insecure and this ends up being a huge advantage for me to leverage myself. It’s hard for them to act like a bitch when they farted and feel embarrassed about it, and this is also how I show her I’m a gentleman: by taking the blame for the fart right away. As I’ve mentioned before with this tactic, I turn it around, and later make it fun and silly with jokes, “girl, I bet I can fart louder than you.” I turn it into a challenge, a game she has to win.

She got excited, then her eyes started to look teary. I knew I had her where I wanted, because I was the first man to have ever excepted her for who she was underneath all her think white, adipose junk.

Her interest peaked and she started asking me what I do, and noticed I was still in my chef outfit from work. I typically wear my chef attire when I’m out so BBWs know what’s up, and that I can cook for them.

30 minutes into the conversation we were holding hands and I was leading her to the restrooms. As soon as I held the door open for her, she stopped and turned back around. What she said still echoes loudly in my cranium..

“I DON’T LIKE BLACK GUYS, SORRY!”

All my intense feelings and attraction toward her disappeared. I wanted to call her a bitch, but I was too shocked, my jaw dropped and nothing came out.

Racism is pretty rare among BBWs, but sometimes it rears its ugly head. Later that night I shed a few tears thinking about what she had said to me, and how much it hurt my feelings, my dignity, my pride, and honor. Her ass was still wonderful in my opinion, despite her ugly feelings toward capable men like myself that just happen to have a different shade of skin. She got a taste of my big game, while all I got was her racism, man I felt so cheated. 

The truth is that there’s no such thing as a perfect BBW. Just when you think you’ve found one you’ll change your mind pretty quickly.

How to Go Down on Bigger Women

Nigel with a fresh kill

I know what you must be thinking, “but Nigel, how do you get your head in there, or even find that pussy?” Good question. Trust me when I tell you that it isn’t as hard as it looks, but much harder; and it’s all absolutely necessary, because a woman’s pussy can only take so much of a beating until it needs a very gentle, healing massage. Besides, it’s a nice thing to do for your BBW once in a while so she can feel some pleasure too, and know that you appreciate her. When she sees all the intense effort you put into eating out her inner beef slabs, she’ll feel more than obligated to continue allowing herself to be your BBW mistress.

So before you just dive in, stop right there.. First you have to make sure that beef is clean and kosher. This might seem obvious, but larger women often have greater hygiene problems; often a large gunt with a fat ass/thighs will make it difficult for her to even wipe her own ass after taking a dump, with her fecal matter getting compounded over time. Even without ancient doodoo hanging out near her pussy, her nether region is home to all kinds of yeast, mold, and sometimes mushrooms too — and hey, those extra mushrooms go great on that pizza you’ll feed her later. Anyway, this is why it’s important to get a fresh sponge (that you never plan on using again) and pull out a large wading pool that’s big enough for her ass; because you’ll have to get your BBW to bend over and spread her legs so you can reach in and scrub that shit out. If you don’t like getting your hand stuck inside her fleshy abyss, you can always take her with you to the car wash at 4 am and have her get out and spread her legs. Important: make sure there’s no surveillance cameras at the car wash.

Now after all that hard work and preparation, you still can’t put your crabfest 2010 bib on just yet. Remember, it’s painful and difficult for any BBW to keep her legs spread open, especially when your head is up her ass. Her legs will give out sooner or later, and her pussy cavity will collapse around your head, crushing it instantly. So any hazardous situation like this requires the proper gear, that’s why I highly recommend wearing a helmet of some kind that isn’t so big that you can’t squeeze your head up her ass. Another tip is to use some kind of oil, WD-40 works great. Last but definitely not least, make sure you have a forced leg spreading device to keep her legs spread open, or just tie her legs to bed posts to keep them open. Whatever works. A fork lift is another option if you’re dealing with SSBBWs (Super Sized Big Beautiful Whores). But hey, that’s a whole n’other level, my level. After I eat ’em out, super sized bitches get super sized dick!

Once you got that accomplished, now you have to find it. I recommend the smell test, which is self explanatory. However, if you’re not a natural like me, then the next best thing is poking her ass until you hear her scream bloody murder. Great way to do this is with a corndog, because it’s warm and soft, and you can put it in her mouth afterwards to add an extra-sensual touch. If she asks where it’s been, just tell her you dipped it in chocolate. Or ketchup if there’s blood.

corndog

Ass to mouth with a corndog. That’s what I’m talkin’bout baby.

If things get too hot, put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down.

Follow me on twitter ! @NigelBigGame

Fitness For Heavier Women: Stay Healthy At Any Size

fitnessfatty

It’s true, women can be healthy at any size. That shouldn’t be big news for big girls. But here’s the real big news: Bigger women have to workout even harder to be healthy. And by “workout” let me specify that I don’t mean it in the conventional sense, because that’s too difficult. Instead I mean special exercises for bigger girls that strengthens their body, improves coordination, and helps out with blood flow too (which is very important). It’s a known fact that the more body fat a bitch carries, the more likely she’s going to die from a heart attack or some other shit. Believe me, the last thing I want is for one of my BBW hoes dying from a heart attack while I’m plunging my BBC deep in her ass, so I became a personal trainer. By specializing in BBW Fitness I can help big bitches stay alive and collect a paycheck too.

It wasn’t long ago that I completed my online certification courses and became a personal trainer, in fact it feels like yesterday that I had my first client. She was a big, loud, independent black woman with a huge pink afro. And since it was pink, It looked like somekind of nappy ass, over sized cotton candy. Mmmmmm I knew I had to take a bite of that… It had to have weighed 50 pounds alone. She must have been one proud sistah to sport such a huge afro. When I saw her I was like “right on sistah. Right on.” When she rolled up to me in her wheelchair, I greeted her with my black fist in the air and smiled, knowing I’d be using that fist to exercise her ass later.

We got started with some basic stretches, but even this was difficult for her considering her size. To be honest there wasn’t much she could do, she was beyond hope. I brought her into my office and tried to tell her the bad news: she’s too big, even for Zumba. She started to cry, but being a gentleman I knew I had to fix this situation, and make it right. I brought out some donuts to calm her down. She gave some token resistance at first, but eventually I was stuffing them in her mouth as I bent her over and fisted her up the ass. Thank god my desk was made of red wood oak, otherwise it would be broke. I said “You want to workout for real? This is the only workout fat bitches get around here” as I went balls deep, with her face shoved in the box of donuts. It looked like an Afro was growing out of my desk, a nappy pink, cotton candy afro.

After that exercise, I was so mad at her for making my desk all messy with pussy juice and donut jelly, I pulled my shit covered dick out and wiped it off on her fro. “Bitch, that’s what you get.. Good luck washing that out.”  She was too exhausted to get upset, so I took her phone and called up her big friends for a group fitness session. Later I shoved her friend’s head up her pussy and fucked her in the ass. I got to workout two bitches at once, turning my workout room into a sweatshop. It was a twerkout workout, but with their huge asses twerking up on my junk.

Anyways, the typical daily workout routine is something like this:

It all starts out with warm up: A good game of hide and seek usually does the trick. I typically hide some food somewhere my house (usually my bedroom) and she has to find it. This is a great way to get BBWs up and waddling, which gets the blood flowing around. I always hide the food under my bed, so when she eventually finds it up we end up play hide and seek with her genitals — which I consider to be a more intense strength workout. But if you find her pussy and hit it, voilà. You win.  If you find her asshole, it’s a draw.

After a few rounds of hide and seek I get my BBW(s) to stretch. Sounds impossible?  You’d be surprised how flexible some BBWs are. Normally stretching is considered the warm up exercise, but not for these bitches, they do hardcore stretches, that’s why they have so many stretch marks. When they stretch it’s like dead lifting, and often they need assistance. I like to make them bend over, that way I can help them up and show them I’m a gentleman for real, “baby, I got you.” Great way to “sexualize the exercise.” Finally I’ll help her spread her legs so we can stretch out her pussy.

I finish up by helping BBWs workout their stomach and intestines with some food. This is part of their bulking phase that’s necessary to maintain healthy coats of fatty insulation. An anal jizz protein shake immediately after workouts helps them too. Most of this can just be freestyled, there’s no set rules. Gotta make ’em sweat, cause it’s better for her to have a fart attack than a heart attack.

Follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

SlutWalks Are Great For Snagging Fat White Sluts

Have you ever heard of Slutwalks? You gotta try it out man, especially if you like being around fat white sluts like I do. These dimes won’t admit it, but the truth is that Slutwalks are really just Fat-Acceptance opportunities spectacles disguised as feminist activism. But hey, you know I’m super down with that. They’ll try to say specifically that they’re protesting against this whole notion that provocative dress invites RAPISTS. When they talk, I just nod my head, “okay whatever baby, that makes sense.” Seriously, It isn’t like walking around in the hood with stacks of money hangin’ out your pocket invites muggers, cause that’s way different. 

Believe it or not I’ve attended a few of these Slutwalk marches because I love fat sluts sympathize with the core principle of their movement: Overweight white women shouldn’t feel ashamed of looking and acting like fat sluts, they should flaunt it! They should feel encouraged and empowered to let their beefy muffin-tops and cottage cheese asses sag freely and openly. That’s why they got my fucking support. Amen.

Not too long ago I was in Toronto for a SlutWalk march, and boy was I surprised at the sheer size, density, and thickness of all the fat Slutwalker buffalo-bitches stampeding through the city. I couldn’t wait to join the crowd.

slutwalknigel

I’m looking smooth like Morpheus from the Matrix. 

Luckily I brought my sunglasses with me, because I recognized many of the BBWs from Craigslist personal ads I had responded to in the past. Many of them were past bangs, and I didn’t want them to recognize me; damn It really is a small world after all. Anyway, as the march went on, the women started chanting and yelling louder and louder. All of the sudden the crowd of thick, sweaty bodies started to clump together all around me, squeezing me in. With all that these thick walls of soft flesh around, my boner got more and more stiff, which subsequently became harder to conceal. One BBW felt the tip of my junk on her trunk and turned around to see what it was, but I played it cool, pretending my hand was in my pocket.

It didn’t help that I kept bumping into her ass with my stiff cock: the jig was up. She gave me a funny look. I tried apologizing to her, “Baby, excuse me” but she snarled at me and turned away, releasing a rancid angry-fart out of spite. My boner got even harder. That’s when I knew I had to improvise a way to prevent another accidental bump with my junk, or else the whole crowd of Slutwalkers would turn on me. So I took the sign I had and held it over my crotch as a barrier. Then I unzipped my pants and let my cock hang loose while I stroked it like a ninja, or just some Secret Negro Agent 007 shit. Ultimately masturbating helped reduce my boner so I could act more normal. Despite having so many fat white bitches up close, squishing me in, I was busting all kinds of nuts with maximum stealth. Dozens in truth. It was a long march.

Lookin' like Morpheus from the Matrix.

She’s not even looking at me, but I’m looking at her.

As the march was coming to a close, I left early and headed for my food truck, then drove it up to the horde of hungry Slutwalkers. A long line of fine looking sluts formed at the side of my truck, with their eyes were lit. All the sudden I went from being a random black dude in a white-feminist-march to feeling like a hiphop star with white groupies. I was killing two birds with one stone. As I say, “Make some dough, bang some dough.” That’s my motto. I even had a special offer for big sluts that signed up for my free dessert membership plan — which was actually just a cleverly disguised sexual-consent form. Shout out to my lawyer!

In conclusion, when it comes to RAPE, BBWs secretly love rapists and stalkers. On top of that, since when does any woman consent with a “yes” for a pussy pounding? She can’t even say “yes” or “no”, just “mmmm mmmm” when she’s got that whole 9 inches of Nigel’s snicker bar rammed down her turkey-necked throat.

“baby my bad, you gonna need some honey lemon tea for that sore throat.”

Follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

How I pick the right woman

nigel kills it again

She was born hungry, and I fed her well.

Back in my early days when I was a younger man, I was a french fryer at McDonald’s. I thought the smell I brought with me from work to the club was all i needed to be a big-ass-getter. But I was so on it, so hungry, so inexperienced, I didn’t even give bitches the chance to smell me. I just chased girls with big asses like I escaped from prison and had to bust a nut real quick before the police could catch me and send me back. I was always buying new clothes, trying to increase my swag, and hustling hard like a door to door salesman selling dick. Sometimes it worked, but man, It got tiring; it was hard work. I usually only drink Gatorade after fucking fat BBWs to replenish my electrolytes and energy/sugar-levels, but back then I had to drink that shit all the time because I was exhausting myself so much. At one point I had to smoke crack just to keep up and stay alert. Then my hair was starting to turn grey, and I had had enough. Those were the days… Then a major paradigm shift changed my game forever. One day I saw a man on TV hunting wild beasts in Africa. He took his time to wait and ambush big game beasts, and that’s when I knew that catching big game required big game. It was so much more strategic, relaxing, and intelligent than what I was doing all along. All the pieces of the big game puzzle finally came together. This ain’t checkers motherfuckers, it’s chess.

So let’s come back to the present, around last week. It was big ladies night at the Ham Hock Saloon. I weaseled my way into the VIP party room where they had an open buffet and strategically planted myself in front of it — specifically the table with the fried chicken assortment. The BBWs started waddling their way in like a stampede. I was gettin’ real excited but kept my cool with a big pitcher of beer in my hands. I stood there posted up like a soldier on guard duty, just watching them get comfortable, waiting for all that food to start digesting and sap up their strength. The time started to fly and the room got hot and sweaty, when all of the sudden I felt an intense pressure on my foot, like a truck had run over it. I thought my foot was about to be pulverized, but I held my breath to avoid screaming in public. I looked down and noticed it wasn’t someone’s foot stepping on my shoe, but instead the end of a walking cane — a fat ass woman (with severely debilitating gout) had inadvertently placed the end of her cane on my foot for support as she struggled in a lumbering waddle, on her way to the next buffet. Immediately all the anger and pain turned into excitement, because the weakest link in this procession of very big titties-n-ass had just stumbled into my clutching range.

She was short and very wide, especially her ass — no wonder she needed a walking cane, it was epic; or maybe it was because of her gout, which looked like a giant ass tumor. I had to make the first move, so I grabbed her by the love handles and pulled her closer, pretending to whisper something in her ear about how I noticed her checking me out, and how beautiful I think she is; see a little flattery goes a long way with big bitches, and it’s a great way to buy time. She smiled, and then I offered her some beer from the pitcher I was holding. She gave me a funny look and then asked me if I was just trying to get her drunk, but I was like, “baby, you serious? Just have a sip.” She looked thirsty, and I was thirsty for her epic ass and pussy, it was a win win situation. But being a black belt in big game, I also knew something else: if I could get her to drink the whole pitcher of beer, it would seriously agitate her gout. So I put the pitcher up to her lips and I started chanting, “drink! drink! finish it bitch!” and got the whole room to chant with me; the peer pressure set in and the beer disappeared. It didn’t take long for her  to guzzle it down, she was born to swallow.

After drinking all that beer, it only took 2 minutes for the pain to set in. Her big ass foot with the gout was glowing red hot and lookin’ ready to explode. She could barely stand up, even with her cane for support. She started leaning on me and moaning. I knew I had her right where I wanted. “Excuse me folks, coming through. She needs help taking a shit” was all I had to say, and everyone moved out of our way as I guided her to the restroom. One hater that supposedly was her friend jumped out in front of me and asked me what I was doing, but I pulled out my wallet and quickly flashed him my health insurance card that has a blue cross on it, “I’m a nurse at the hospital, I work with obese patients. I’m a professional, I know how to handle this.” He quickly shut up and walked away. Once we made it to the restroom, I guided her toward the stall. She put up some physical resistance; and being a big woman, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to just push her in, so instead I yanked her walking cane away and she fell to the floor like a limp sack of shit. She fell into the stall perfectly, just barely fitting in with her ass hanging out. I couldn’t close the door, but it’s didn’t matter. I unzipped my pants and got to work, kneading her doughy ass with my chocolate dough roller.

It is thanks to my strategic approach to big game that I don’t have to break a sweat and waste my time if I don’t want to. Sun Tzu would approve.

my man sun tzu

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

She was just fat enough…

Sometimes I make it sound like I’m always hunting down big bitches with my high-caliber-penetration Weapon-of-Ass-Destruction, but the truth is my massive notch count isn’t entirely comprised of obese bitches (SSBBWs). Fucking big bitches is tiring, hard work, so sometimes fucking a less-fat fattie is a nice break from the usual — and it ain’t dumpster diving if the girl has a cute face. Just as often as I find myself with a Goliath BBW hoe, I find myself with girls that just got one or two extra chins, some extra muffin tops and some belly flab. Look man, you can’t always eat lobster and steak. Even if you could afford to do so, your system would tire out after a while, and this applies to pussy getting as well. The key to getting your notch count in the triple digits is to lower your standards here and there.

Something like this. Kinda thinner, but still beautiful somehow. Great personality makes up for lack of flesh. And she has 5 kids, just wow.

Loud proud and ready to wow.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not out there breaking off in girls built like twigs. No sir, I still got some standards. Yesterday I was at Walmart when this thin, 5’2″ tall, 150 pound looking thing was eyeing me up in the frozen food aisle. I could tell she wanted to melt down my thick, tall, dark chocolate popsicle; but I knew better. I knew to hold back because her miniature 150 pound ass would be annihilated by a man of my caliber, and I ain’t interested in hurting anyone like that. Her ass was too small to ride, so I avoided eye contact and kept on moving along. Not long after I spotted something a lot better. She wasn’t quite big enough to be a BBW in the traditional sense, but she had a big gut with a fold swinging past her waist and decent muffin tops. I could tell she tried to conceal some of it by the way she dressed, but she passed the thick arms test — if a woman has thick ham arms, you know she’s got a nice ass too. So I made a move just as she opened the freezer door to grab some frozen hungryman dinners. I got right behind her and pretended to grab the same box, and with a fun sarcastic tone was like, “bitch please, you ain’t no hungry man! Give it up!” Of course she thought it was cute and funny, cause I said it with confidence, plus she isn’t as insecure as a real BBWshe’s only mildly thick, so it just made her giggle. We talked for a bit and she told me she was a mom with 5 kids (dammnnn, no wonder she had them hips, thick ass, and big stomach). Let me tell you, I’m no milf hunter — I don’t go out of my way to playgrounds and toy stores just to find moms, no sir, but this milf had an ass I wanted.

Bitch, you got kids? No problem, shit test passed with flying colors!

Bitch, you got kids? No problem — shit test passed with flying colors!!!

She tried her best to dissuade me from coming over because her kids were there, but I was persistent. I ended up back at her place and started microwaving all of the 6 hungryman dinners for her and her kids (applying my special touch as a chef). Her kids were there and they kept nagging me, asking me If I was their new daddy. I told them I was chef Home-boyardee, just there to make dinner and lay down a new pipe ;). They got really excited that I might be their new dad, so I had to reward them by whipping up big, gourmet ice cream sundays. It was a solid move that put the kids out cold like chloroform. Big momma was feeling tired too, but not too tired for some chicken stuffing. Being 20 pounds short of a full BBW, it was amazing that she still offered up just enough resistance to handle my shock-wave jackhammer therapy. And her blood sugar levels must be something, no fatigue — she was still eating while I was pounding it, so I gave her some fudge covered dick for dessert.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

A good woman’s heart is bigger than her ass.

Listen to this beautiful woman sing: so innocent, so pure, so feminine. She might be too big for Heaven, but she’s still an angel! Sing it with me baby “yum yum, Sunny D and Cum!”

One thing I talk about a lot with BBWs is how belligerent and mean they can be sometimes; when a fat woman is a bitch, she’s a BIG BITCH, and ain’t nothing gettin’ in her fucking way. Something about all that fat on her ass goes straight to her head and turns her heart into an extra salty sourdough pretzel; which leads to a shit storm of cognitive dissonance: “If that man doesn’t think I’m beautiful then it’s because he’s a gay ass nigga, fuck him!!!” And, god help us, she thinks that gives her carte blanche to throw all her weight around and shake her flab-slabs until the earth quakes and the Burger King’s kingdom crumbles. That’s most fat bitches for you. Big game ain’t easy. But then sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll come across those rare gems: a real BBW filled with innocence and joy, just waiting to open up. A good BBW’s heart is bigger than her ass, believe it or not (cause that’s a lot of heart) and they can be found if you know where and how to look.

Usually I run my big game plays at Walmart until I get sick of the same fat white hoes breezing through the aisles like they deserve all the sodas and Oreos they’re stocking up on. That’s when I hit up the lower income spots and find myself big girls that are truly in need of big love. I look for a big girl that I see taken her folks out to a nice cheap western buffet, like Golden Carrol (specifically when they got those two for one specials). I’m talking about big bitches that have it hard. They have to be loving and caring to everyone because they can’t afford to act like a bitch, literally. Some of these BBWs are big because they’re poor: they have to stuff themselves with whatever they can get their hands on. For these bitches, McDonald’s is a real treat! So you better believe they’ll gobble up some dick too. In fact that brings me to my pickup line: “hey girl, want a snack?” Also take note: If you’re a seasoned big game stalker, you’ll be tempted to hit up your usual spots again, but part of the challenge of chubby chasing is knowing when to just kick back and take the easy pussy.

See, that's what I'm talking about. A BBW in need.

See, that’s what I’m talking about: A BBW in need. You gotta help her out.

Fat girls that are nice appreciate any kind gesture and will reciprocate with love, so I don’t mind taking a big bitch or two over to Red Lobster as a treat. That’s right, for nice BBWs I take it slow and reward them with a nice romantic dinner. When’s the last time you took a big bitch out? You should try it! Because this also doubles as a test, a test to see if she has a big heart too. You see Red Lobster really isn’t so special if you’ve been to AppleBees or Ruby Tuesdays or even Nigel’s cajun shack down the street, but to a big girl that hasn’t been that spoiled it’s amazing. She’ll think you’re taking her to the Taj Mahal. That’s how you weed out the jaded BBWs that are entitled bitches. If she complains about anything, I know I got myself a wild BBW bitch and just shift my game accordingly. But I really don’t want the wild, entitled bitchy one, I’ve had enough of those for now. A nice girl will be impressed instantly, warming my heart when she says the shrimp basket looks cute. See that’s how you know you’ve got a good girl.

And for dessert, we head back to my place and I take the time to make her a Mississippi Mud Pie with ice cream, because she is special. I light some candles and spoon feed with my shovel, building some more comfort. And as you know I like to turn seduction into a fun game, so I’ll start by throwing food at her mouth like a good ‘ol sexy game of cornhole; then pulling out my dick to feed her a chocolate fiesta! Conclusion: treat a nice lady like a she’s a nice lady first, otherwise you’re the mouse frightening the elephant. But elephants can’t smell a sneaky shit house rat 😉

 

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Fat bitches hibernate in the winter. Pick one and stay warm!

Want to stay warm this winter and save on your heating bill? I certainly do.

                              Hey girl, I got yo snack. ::zip::

It’s getting cold out, and that means it’s time for my dick to snuggle up with some toasty slabs to stay warm. She might be cold herself at first though, until you warm her up with some high friction penetration. We don’t call big girls winter women for nothing.

Big game has its seasons: winter is the driest of them all. As soon as the weather hits below 50 fahrenheit and the birds fly south, BBWs start  hoarding food, feeding, and sleeping. Rather than surrender your big game hustle to circumstance, why not adapt? This is a great opportunity to shack up with a BBW or two. Instead of big game hunting, you gotta shift into big game trapping. This is when you gotta pick ONE and settle down, It’s tough to settle I know, I love diversifying my ass-ets as much as the next big game brother, but you have to slow it down and trap one right before hibernation. It’s hibernate or masturbate and pay for heating. Which one would you rather have?

First thing you gotta do is hit the store and stock up on all kinds of food, especially favorites like cheese puffs and mini-donuts. This is why I buy in bulk at wholesale clubs like Costco. Buying in bulk will cut down your junk food bill, because when you gotta a BBW nesting in your fornication-fortress for the whole winter you’re going to run out quick unless you get enough. I keep an inventory off all my food in a storage room, keeping track of every calorie; around 600,000 calories is good for one BBW. Remember, for BBWs to successfully hibernate they need lots of food. If she gets hungry she’ll leave.

Get on your feeding game, you'll be cooking up a blizzard

       Get on your feeding game, once she gets tired from eating it’ll be easier to lay down some pipe.

Now let’s talk about your place: is it bbw-hibernation friendly? This is one reason why I have a windowless basement in my house (aside from many others…) this way they lose track of night and day. It’s fun and adds to the domination factor, and they love it! If you have the right kind of shelter, luring them into your fuck-palace with food will be a breeze. Logistics are equally important: is your abode wheel chair accessible? Probably not, so get some ply wood and build a fucking ramp. Build it and they will come.

And that’s pretty much it! She comes in because she’s cold and hungry, despite her fatty fleshy layers of insulation. When she smells the food coming from Nigel’s shelter for the fat and hungry, I let her in with open arms. Man, I feel like I’m doing God’s work sometime. It warms my heart. Some other advice: get the BBW into your basement if you have one, that way if she tries to leave she’ll have to climb up a flight of stairs. Once she’s down gettin’ her calories in, over stuffing herself into high fatigue, turn out the lights and tell her you have a twinkie. After that, you’ll be goin’ balls deep in that fat ass all winter.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame