The logistics of banging fatter women.

In the art of Chubby Chasing, logistics is serious business.

If you had asked me about this a few years ago, I would not have been able to answer with much. That was back when I was a dumbass, before I had a good grasp of the logistics. From A to Z in the fat-pickup process, you’ve got logistical obstacles that you have to deal with, including the large woman herself. You can’t be in situation where both you and her are headed to the bedroom, only to find a staircase that is too long for her to walk up (as illustrated).

Walking up long staircases must be tiring for honeys weighing 450+. It puts them out faster than chloroform. I guess I should have laid my pipe down on this one while she was asleep.

Anyway… part of any good logistics strategy involves weighing in potential obstacles that will arise as a result of your girl’s particular weight, before you decide to take her home. For example, when I’m out daygaming at Walmart or Pizzahut, and I spot a fattie staring at me, I quickly guesstimate her weight. If she appears to be in the 200 – 300 range, she is still able to walk to my car and up a few stair steps without collapsing, however beyond that weight range things start to get difficult. Let’s say I meet a honey that’s roughly 500 pounds; chances are good that just walking to my car will tire her out, possibly enough to kill her desire for Nigel’s high caliber penetration style. So what does a big game player do? Before I even enter the venue, I make sure to hide my handy-dandy heavy duty wheelchair outside near the entrance, just in case I pull a serious chubby. This way, I can both swoon her ass with my preparedness and eliminate extra walking so she won’t get too tired to fuck. It works like a charm every time. As soon as we exit the building and I set her up in the wheelchair like a true gentleman, she’ll feel like a princess as she leaves a trail of her wet pussy juice on the way to my vehicle. Also, when scouting out any venues, always look for ramps and elevators so the wheelchair maneuver goes smooth .

Once I’ve got her ass in the wheelchair, I’ve overcome half of the logistical battle. At that point, I bring her to my van, which has a wheelchair friendly ramp to the side.

I’ve got one of these setups. Great carrying capacity.

I shove her in and drive off like a thief in the night. It’s critical that I drive quickly, because if the ride is too long she might expect me to get her food at a drive-through. Getting fast food for any woman is a classic amateur chubby chaser mistake. It sounds like a great idea, but in practice the food not only tires her out, but gives her less of a reason to come home with me because It eliminates both the plausible deniability and excitement of coming over my house for food. I want fatties coming to my house hungry, awake, and horny, not tired and confused. Also notice the size of the van, it can accommodate the biggest women. Yeah, I could bang her in the van, it has tinted windows, but I prefer more space to maneuver.

Once I’ve got her drooling for scooby snacks in The Mystery Machine, I drive on up to my house while continuing to promise her a five star, five course gourmet dinner — little does she know that dinner will be served in liquid form. Rather than park the vehicle in the driveway and have her painfully struggle to walk, I press my remote control garage door opener and drive into the garage, where I have the setup: a large California king sized bed, home-entertainment system with digital projector and surround sound, popcorn machine, cotton candy machine, and a fridge full of food. Once inside the garage, all she has to do is exit the van.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Prerequisites for chubby chasing, part 2

Extra Beef. Can you handle it?

In my last post I talked about how important it is to have the wherewithal to spear a fat mammoth hoe like the one above; however there is another bare necessity for chubby chasing I forgot to mention: physical fitness. You have got to be able to handle the intense weight of a big woman, otherwise you will be squashed like the pancakes she ate for breakfast, period. Just imagine having sex with a fattie, and all the sudden she wants to be on top. If you’re serious about chubby chasing, it’s important to train like an Olympic weight lifter. Fat girls love guys with big hard bodies for sure, but more importantly it is for the practicality, for being able to handle that big business. I train hard at the gym, and that’s why I’m like a forklift lifting heavy cargo.

First, for your safety, the most important exercises are chest exercises, especially bench presses. You’ve got to protect your chest and face from heavy weight or you will suffocate. I can bench 400 pounds no problem, and I do lots of dumbbell flies and pushups regularly. If you’re a smaller guy, forget it. You’ve got to settle for the less chunky, just slightly overweight semi-fatties.

Secondly, you also need strong quads, glutes and hamstrings for maximal thrusting power. You’ve got to knock that pussy out of the ballpark with the power of a jack hammer. That’s why it’s important to do squats with heavy ass weights (350+) and deadlifts. Remember, the battle is won in the gym.

You also gotta work on your grip strength too. Sometimes when I’m on top it’s like riding a bull at a rodeo. You’ve got to hold on hard. Forearm exercises and those grip strength thangs work great.

Good music also helps with the workout. I listen to Stic, it pumps me up whether I’m pumpin’ in the gym or in yo momma’s fat pussy.

You gotta be big as hell to slay big pussy, and I thank god every day for giving me that strength and perseverance to go hard at it. In fact last week I intercepted a huge BBW in a dark alley. I propped her ass up against a dumpster and sent her pussy to the dump. It sounded like a train getting wrecked. I don’t even think a garbage truck could have crushed that pussy, it was huge. I was killin’ it so hard, vultures were circling us. Haha amen.

P.S. Remember, the battle is won in the gym, and what you will find is that fucking fat bitches is a workout in and of itself.


follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Want to increase your notches? Become a chubby chaser

One of the unknown benefits of being a chubby chaser in America is the severely high volume of “chubbies” waddling around everywhere. It’s not a surprise then that many seasoned chubby chasers (like myself) are able to rack up huge notch counts annually. If you’re from the pickup community, then you automatically understand that a high notch count equals serious game; and there’s no doubt my notch count is epic. If I kept count of every notch, I’d need the talent of a professional accountant to help me organize the spreadsheet. Here’s a picture from my current excel spreadsheet in progress:


Check the image above, do you see it? Column C is weight. I have a special industrial grade scale, normally used for construction, built into my bed that allows me to weigh every fattie I fuck — It’s quite the piece of DIY engineering on my part. How does it work? Easy, when no one is in the bed it is zero; when I bring a fattie on my bed, I just subtract my weight and BAM, got her weight. Anyway, not to get off track…

Thanks to the rising obesity rate among women, which is already high as shit, I don’t have to put much thought into venue selection when I want to get my game on. I don’t even go out of my way to shop at Walmart as much anymore. They’re everywhere. Thank you HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, thank you Koolaid, Thank you McDonald’s and Burger King. Thank you for indirectly making it easier for me to maximize my notch count. At roughly 850 notches under my belt, you should be worshiping me mother fuckers.

All I can say to you wannabes, if you see me heading toward a fattie, you better step aside fast. I’m on that ass like a homing missile. WATCH OUT!