SlutWalks Are Great For Snagging Fat White Sluts

Have you ever heard of Slutwalks? You gotta try it out man, especially if you like being around fat white sluts like I do. These dimes won’t admit it, but the truth is that Slutwalks are really just Fat-Acceptance opportunities spectacles disguised as feminist activism. But hey, you know I’m super down with that. They’ll try to say specifically that they’re protesting against this whole notion that provocative dress invites RAPISTS. When they talk, I just nod my head, “okay whatever baby, that makes sense.” Seriously, It isn’t like walking around in the hood with stacks of money hangin’ out your pocket invites muggers, cause that’s way different. 

Believe it or not I’ve attended a few of these Slutwalk marches because I love fat sluts sympathize with the core principle of their movement: Overweight white women shouldn’t feel ashamed of looking and acting like fat sluts, they should flaunt it! They should feel encouraged and empowered to let their beefy muffin-tops and cottage cheese asses sag freely and openly. That’s why they got my fucking support. Amen.

Not too long ago I was in Toronto for a SlutWalk march, and boy was I surprised at the sheer size, density, and thickness of all the fat Slutwalker buffalo-bitches stampeding through the city. I couldn’t wait to join the crowd.

slutwalknigel

I’m looking smooth like Morpheus from the Matrix. 

Luckily I brought my sunglasses with me, because I recognized many of the BBWs from Craigslist personal ads I had responded to in the past. Many of them were past bangs, and I didn’t want them to recognize me; damn It really is a small world after all. Anyway, as the march went on, the women started chanting and yelling louder and louder. All of the sudden the crowd of thick, sweaty bodies started to clump together all around me, squeezing me in. With all that these thick walls of soft flesh around, my boner got more and more stiff, which subsequently became harder to conceal. One BBW felt the tip of my junk on her trunk and turned around to see what it was, but I played it cool, pretending my hand was in my pocket.

It didn’t help that I kept bumping into her ass with my stiff cock: the jig was up. She gave me a funny look. I tried apologizing to her, “Baby, excuse me” but she snarled at me and turned away, releasing a rancid angry-fart out of spite. My boner got even harder. That’s when I knew I had to improvise a way to prevent another accidental bump with my junk, or else the whole crowd of Slutwalkers would turn on me. So I took the sign I had and held it over my crotch as a barrier. Then I unzipped my pants and let my cock hang loose while I stroked it like a ninja, or just some Secret Negro Agent 007 shit. Ultimately masturbating helped reduce my boner so I could act more normal. Despite having so many fat white bitches up close, squishing me in, I was busting all kinds of nuts with maximum stealth. Dozens in truth. It was a long march.

Lookin' like Morpheus from the Matrix.

She’s not even looking at me, but I’m looking at her.

As the march was coming to a close, I left early and headed for my food truck, then drove it up to the horde of hungry Slutwalkers. A long line of fine looking sluts formed at the side of my truck, with their eyes were lit. All the sudden I went from being a random black dude in a white-feminist-march to feeling like a hiphop star with white groupies. I was killing two birds with one stone. As I say, “Make some dough, bang some dough.” That’s my motto. I even had a special offer for big sluts that signed up for my free dessert membership plan — which was actually just a cleverly disguised sexual-consent form. Shout out to my lawyer!

In conclusion, when it comes to RAPE, BBWs secretly love rapists and stalkers. On top of that, since when does any woman consent with a “yes” for a pussy pounding? She can’t even say “yes” or “no”, just “mmmm mmmm” when she’s got that whole 9 inches of Nigel’s snicker bar rammed down her turkey-necked throat.

“baby my bad, you gonna need some honey lemon tea for that sore throat.”

Follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

You gotta feed your bitches

So wait hold up son, you think you can handle being a Chubby Chaser and Fat Sex Dungeon Master? You think you can manage a harem of obedient fat sex slaves? You’re crazy… Unless you follow my chubster 101 advice.

The secret to keeping any fat woman obedient is through her stomach. That’s right, let me repeat: the key to the pussy is through her stomach. You gotta feed ’em if you wanna bang them. Why else do you think I became a professional chef? I’ll save that chef part for another post. Anyway, it isn’t as simple as calling up Domino’s and getting a few extra large pizzas for your hoes. You might think that makes you a gentleman, but the truth is they can order up extra-large sausage pizzas on their own — without your sausage present. However, If you can cook a decent meal, you have a serious edge over other chubby chasers that depend on Pizza Hut and Chinese take out. Not only is homemade food far better, It’s also sexier and more seductive for her to see you with nothing on but your apron while you’re making a gourmet meal.

Photo of my brick oven. I’m making two pizzas: one for her and one for me. Makes her feel special; then I serve her chocolate sausage pizza for dessert to make her anus feel famous.

When you can cook her gourmet food, she becomes dependent on you for that high quality food. You’ve possessed her taste buds, you own her palate, you’ve got her. On top of this, she’ll eventually associate the good taste and feeling of eating that food with you. By creating this dependency, she is forced to obey your every command as a submissive sex slave, or else no more food. In general, it’s a great way to reward her for sex.

However, when she doesn’t obey you, you have to punish your fat sex slave by cutting that bitch off from your food supply. It’s that simple. If she doesn’t put out when and how you want her to, and If she doesn’t totally behave as a proper chubby slave, you cut that bitch off — no more fried meatballs and spaghetti with pesto, no more deep fried tacos, no more dutch chocolate pastries and pies. Of course it’s always necessary to follow this up with an extra punishment. I personally jump on top of my slaves, forcing them to give me piggy back ride that are painful for them, this coincides with the zapping each slab of fat with my cattle prod. Another great punishment involves pouring rainbow sprinkles on her muffin tops and biting into them hard enough to cause severe pain and bleeding. I love biting muffin tops, it’s so sexy! And with rainbow sprinkles, it’s tasty too. You can even use this technique to train your other fat sex slaves to punish each other.

But in conclusion, proper fat sex slave management revolves around your ability to feed your bitches, and you should feed them well as a reward for obedience. When they misbehave, you cut them off as punishment, and punish them more for good measure. After you punish them, reward your BBWs with some candy.

Other chubby chasers will hate me when they find out… I’ve got my own candy shop. How can they compete with that? My double fudge lollipop melts in a fat bitch’s mouth.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame