Safe Sex for Chubby Chasers

When it comes to Big Game Hunting, safe sex is a priority, especially for you.

Need a ride to the other side man?

You gotta come prepared for this game, and make sure you satisfy every prerequisite — which I’ve covered before with regards to your strength and having the right size. But even that isn’t enough, you also have to take precautions to avoid severe injury, disaster and even death. That’s what’s so thrilling about chasing chubbies around, because you’re attempting to kill pussy that can kill you if you don’t watch out and use my common sense safety tips.

Amateur Chubby Chaser: Fatality waiting to happen.

What could go wrong? It’s usually a story like this: the typical amateur chubby chaser always thinks he’s ready.. He’s been lifting weights all week to prepare for this Olympic feat. She’s all hot and ready sitting in a steel reinforced wheelchair as he rolls her into his motel room. He lies on the bed first, takes off his clothes, and then pulls out a box of donuts that were hiding under the pillows. It all seems to go down smooth, like some kind of well choreographed R Kelly shit, until all of the sudden she leaps out of the wheel chair and this happens:

She’s not on bath salts. She’s just licking donut jelly off his face, as he dies.

His breathing begins to cut off due to the extreme weight pressing down on his chest, but she’s too busy licking the donut jelly off of his face to notice he’s dying. This could last for hours, or even days if she is too heavy to help herself off. But hey, that’s natural selection homie, that’s why there aren’t many chubby chasers around — us real chubsters, we’re an elite crew of fat sex survivors. If you want to join the Fat Acceptance league of extraordinary gentlemen, here’s some safety advice:

1. Unless you are black belt motherfucker like yours truly, never ever ever ever ever ever let that big ass mammoth-bitch on top of you. I don’t care if that’s how ya like it, you want to live right? Anything above 165 pounds can fuck up your pelvis for real. Anything above 200 pounds can send you to hell if you are stupid enough. Always stay on top like a real man. I know some of you have squash fetishes, and you want your BBW to sit on your face. Fine, but if you must, wear a hard hat so your skull remains intact.

 

Wear a hard hat when she sits on your face

Wear a hard hat when she sits on your face

2. Never let her roll on top of you. This is similar to rule #1, but if you are lying together cuddling before/after sex, you’re guard will be down. Stay calm, but be ready to roll away and jump on top if she rolls toward you. Do not let her on top unless you want to suffocate to death under layers of wet, doughy flesh.

3. Keep food off of you until you are absolutely ready for her to come at you and lick it off. Even if you’re standing and sprinkle confectioner’s sugar on your dick, you might get tackled NFL style bitch. The excitement of food is so strong in these women that a burst of energy will possess them if they even smell it — as opposed to their otherwise lethargic nature.

4. For her safety, don’t over-feed her at least an hour before sex. She may have a big body, but her little heart can only pump so much blood; and if most of it is pipe-lining to her stomach instead of her pussy (because she’s processing 8 pounds of funnel cake you bought her at the funfair) she won’t have any energy for sex. This is actually a classic amateur chubby chaser mistake. She might even have a heart attack while you’re pounding that ass. Why risk it? It kills the moment if the fat lady can’t scream because her blood flow is off.

5. Tie your BBW to the bed, otherwise she’ll roll around destroying the whole room. Broken glass and shit isn’t safe. Since I’m really into fat dungeon sex, I use handcuffs and ropes to tie my fat sex slaves up so they can’t move. I like to turn it up a notch by teasing them with food while they’re restrained. It’s a great way to torture a fat slut, and it’s safer then letting her whale ass maneuver around the room, and having furniture and lamps destroyed.

6. Don’t take a shower with her after sex. This one should be obvious, do you want to die in a bathtub? When 2 enter the shower, the BBW will leave and wonder where you went.

It’s important that you follow this advice, because what good will you do for the Fat Acceptance movement if you are dead? None. But It’s your funeral bitch.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame