Sometimes I make it sound like I’m always hunting down big bitches with my high-caliber-penetration Weapon-of-Ass-Destruction, but the truth is my massive notch count isn’t entirely comprised of obese bitches (SSBBWs). Fucking big bitches is tiring, hard work, so sometimes fucking a less-fat fattie is a nice break from the usual — and it ain’t dumpster diving if the girl has a cute face. Just as often as I find myself with a Goliath BBW hoe, I find myself with girls that just got one or two extra chins, some extra muffin tops and some belly flab. Look man, you can’t always eat lobster and steak. Even if you could afford to do so, your system would tire out after a while, and this applies to pussy getting as well. The key to getting your notch count in the triple digits is to lower your standards here and there.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not out there breaking off in girls built like twigs. No sir, I still got some standards. Yesterday I was at Walmart when this thin, 5’2″ tall, 150 pound looking thing was eyeing me up in the frozen food aisle. I could tell she wanted to melt down my thick, tall, dark chocolate popsicle; but I knew better. I knew to hold back because her miniature 150 pound ass would be annihilated by a man of my caliber, and I ain’t interested in hurting anyone like that. Her ass was too small to ride, so I avoided eye contact and kept on moving along. Not long after I spotted something a lot better. She wasn’t quite big enough to be a BBW in the traditional sense, but she had a big gut with a fold swinging past her waist and decent muffin tops. I could tell she tried to conceal some of it by the way she dressed, but she passed the thick arms test — if a woman has thick ham arms, you know she’s got a nice ass too. So I made a move just as she opened the freezer door to grab some frozen hungryman dinners. I got right behind her and pretended to grab the same box, and with a fun sarcastic tone was like, “bitch please, you ain’t no hungry man! Give it up!” Of course she thought it was cute and funny, cause I said it with confidence, plus she isn’t as insecure as a real BBW — she’s only mildly thick, so it just made her giggle. We talked for a bit and she told me she was a mom with 5 kids (dammnnn, no wonder she had them hips, thick ass, and big stomach). Let me tell you, I’m no milf hunter — I don’t go out of my way to playgrounds and toy stores just to find moms, no sir, but this milf had an ass I wanted.
She tried her best to dissuade me from coming over because her kids were there, but I was persistent. I ended up back at her place and started microwaving all of the 6 hungryman dinners for her and her kids (applying my special touch as a chef). Her kids were there and they kept nagging me, asking me If I was their new daddy. I told them I was chef Home-boyardee, just there to make dinner and lay down a new pipe ;). They got really excited that I might be their new dad, so I had to reward them by whipping up big, gourmet ice cream sundays. It was a solid move that put the kids out cold like chloroform. Big momma was feeling tired too, but not too tired for some chicken stuffing. Being 20 pounds short of a full BBW, it was amazing that she still offered up just enough resistance to handle my shock-wave jackhammer therapy. And her blood sugar levels must be something, no fatigue — she was still eating while I was pounding it, so I gave her some fudge covered dick for dessert.
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