I’ve been in my rockin’ chair lately, at night, just sittin’ on my porch and thinking a whole lot about big game. I’ve got the bayou right in front too. Staring at it calms me down after a hard day of big game and making big bitches sweat. I love it, It’s like a moat that prevents my bitches from escaping, and them crocodiles floating around need to eat too. But anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, I reexamined my own philosophy on chubby chasing and it got me thinking about how fat acceptance fits in. We all know that fat acceptance is about self acceptance. It’s about a big honey lovin’ herself for the person she is on the inside, as well as her big beautiful rotund form, no matter what baby! And that’s just the way God wanted it. But what everyone forgets is that fat acceptance ain’t just for bitches no more, it’s for chubby chasers too. Like climbing mount Everest or running alongside the bulls in Spain, big game is a manly challenge waiting for y’all to Accept; It’s an adrenaline roller coaster that will test your endurance, patience, compassion and mental strength. That’s why we call it Fat Acceptance, because Fat is the challenge that must be Accepted in order to be conquered.
When you’re trying to fuck fat mammoth hogs like I do all the time, it’s inevitable you’re going to face all kinds of bumps in the road. All kinds… Believe me, it’ll test your faith not just in fat acceptance, but also in the Lord himself. I remember this one time I was getting ready to fuck this seriously super sized hoodrat bitch’s ass, when right before sex she broke down in tears. I had to listen to her long sob story about how she got trouble finding a man, and how she couldn’t believe I wanted her. She went real deep too, talking about how she likes using corndogs as dildos. I was stuck cradling her belly flab in my arms for a few hours. Damn, I was about to fall asleep listening to her shit when finally we got down to some fucky fucky.
I skipped the food foreplay and went straight for the her cock-pockets. She was so fat, she could play hide and seek with her genitals – a real BBW queen. It took me a while to find her pussy with all those slabs gettin’ in the way. I started thinking about just pounding her face and calling it a night cause I was too tired to drill for pussy oil, but then I said to myself, “Nigel, come on now, you know better than to not be a man of true Fat Acceptance.” So I kept hitting it until finally I heard her moan. I got excited and went balls deep only to find out it was actually her asshole. Fuck, Wrong hole! I decided to keep my cool and pull out anyway cause the condom came off and got lost somewhere in another slab — lord knows where. Anyway, I pulled out my chocolate yardstick, put on a new jimmy hat and put it right back in; when all of the sudden I noticed a brown, stank corndog rolled out; before I could bust a nut too, shittt. She got up and tried to waddled to the bathroom but she was leaving a trail of dew dew on the way. Man, good thing I left a tarp under my bed. I ran over to my secret forklift in the other room and came back to help her situate herself over the toilet — she was real heavy too, thank god my toilets are made of steal instead of porcelain. Anyway, I was prepared and willing to fix the situation; that’s what makes me a responsible gentleman. That’s what fat acceptance is all about: being ready, willing and prepared to accept any challenge, any problem. It’s like running up a steep hill, going up is a bitch but once you get to the top you feel good.
To make a long story short, the following day I spent the whole afternoon in my fishing boots, in the bathroom fixing the plumbing. Thank god my toilets are made of steal instead of porcelain. I was putting in work with my 10 foot industrial grade plunger, it felt more like I was churning butter or a giant cauldron of dew-stew. I was sweating real hard, getting dew dew stains on my fresh new chef outfit. Fuck my life I thought, then I remembered FAT ACCEPTANCE. It’s all part of the grand challenge: every day presents battles, a new hustle… Of course, the greatest challenge is still hitting the big ass itself, now that’s a real obstacle 😉
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