How to Go Down on Bigger Women

Nigel with a fresh kill

I know what you must be thinking, “but Nigel, how do you get your head in there, or even find that pussy?” Good question. Trust me when I tell you that it isn’t as hard as it looks, but much harder; and it’s all absolutely necessary, because a woman’s pussy can only take so much of a beating until it needs a very gentle, healing massage. Besides, it’s a nice thing to do for your BBW once in a while so she can feel some pleasure too, and know that you appreciate her. When she sees all the intense effort you put into eating out her inner beef slabs, she’ll feel more than obligated to continue allowing herself to be your BBW mistress.

So before you just dive in, stop right there.. First you have to make sure that beef is clean and kosher. This might seem obvious, but larger women often have greater hygiene problems; often a large gunt with a fat ass/thighs will make it difficult for her to even wipe her own ass after taking a dump, with her fecal matter getting compounded over time. Even without ancient doodoo hanging out near her pussy, her nether region is home to all kinds of yeast, mold, and sometimes mushrooms too — and hey, those extra mushrooms go great on that pizza you’ll feed her later. Anyway, this is why it’s important to get a fresh sponge (that you never plan on using again) and pull out a large wading pool that’s big enough for her ass; because you’ll have to get your BBW to bend over and spread her legs so you can reach in and scrub that shit out. If you don’t like getting your hand stuck inside her fleshy abyss, you can always take her with you to the car wash at 4 am and have her get out and spread her legs. Important: make sure there’s no surveillance cameras at the car wash.

Now after all that hard work and preparation, you still can’t put your crabfest 2010 bib on just yet. Remember, it’s painful and difficult for any BBW to keep her legs spread open, especially when your head is up her ass. Her legs will give out sooner or later, and her pussy cavity will collapse around your head, crushing it instantly. So any hazardous situation like this requires the proper gear, that’s why I highly recommend wearing a helmet of some kind that isn’t so big that you can’t squeeze your head up her ass. Another tip is to use some kind of oil, WD-40 works great. Last but definitely not least, make sure you have a forced leg spreading device to keep her legs spread open, or just tie her legs to bed posts to keep them open. Whatever works. A fork lift is another option if you’re dealing with SSBBWs (Super Sized Big Beautiful Whores). But hey, that’s a whole n’other level, my level. After I eat ’em out, super sized bitches get super sized dick!

Once you got that accomplished, now you have to find it. I recommend the smell test, which is self explanatory. However, if you’re not a natural like me, then the next best thing is poking her ass until you hear her scream bloody murder. Great way to do this is with a corndog, because it’s warm and soft, and you can put it in her mouth afterwards to add an extra-sensual touch. If she asks where it’s been, just tell her you dipped it in chocolate. Or ketchup if there’s blood.

corndog

Ass to mouth with a corndog. That’s what I’m talkin’bout baby.

If things get too hot, put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down.

Follow me on twitter ! @NigelBigGame

Fat Acceptance Is About Overcoming Obstacles

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I’ve been in my rockin’ chair lately, at night, just sittin’ on my porch and thinking a whole lot about big game. I’ve got the bayou right in front too. Staring at it calms me down after a hard day of big game and making big bitches sweat. I love it, It’s like a moat that prevents my bitches from escaping, and them crocodiles floating around need to eat too. But anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, I reexamined my own philosophy on chubby chasing and it got me thinking about how fat acceptance fits in. We all know that fat acceptance is about self acceptance. It’s about a big honey lovin’ herself for the person she is on the inside, as well as her big beautiful rotund form, no matter what baby! And that’s just the way God wanted it. But what everyone forgets is that fat acceptance ain’t just for bitches no more, it’s for chubby chasers too. Like climbing mount Everest or running alongside the bulls in Spain, big game is a manly challenge waiting for y’all to Accept; It’s an adrenaline roller coaster that will test your endurance, patience, compassion and mental strength. That’s why we call it Fat Acceptance, because Fat is the challenge that must be Accepted in order to be conquered.

When you’re trying to fuck fat mammoth hogs like I do all the time, it’s inevitable you’re going to face all kinds of bumps in the road. All kinds… Believe me, it’ll test your faith not just in fat acceptance, but also in the Lord himself. I remember this one time I was getting ready to fuck this seriously super sized hoodrat bitch’s ass, when right before sex she broke down in tears. I had to listen to her long sob story about how she got trouble finding a man, and how she couldn’t believe I wanted her. She went real deep too, talking about how she likes using corndogs as dildos. I was stuck cradling her belly flab in my arms for a few hours. Damn, I was about to fall asleep listening to her shit when finally we got down to some fucky fucky.

I skipped the food foreplay and went straight for the her cock-pockets. She was so fat, she could play hide and seek with her genitals – a real BBW queen. It took me a while to find her pussy with all those slabs gettin’ in the way. I started thinking about just pounding her face and calling it a night cause I was too tired to drill for pussy oil, but then I said to myself, “Nigel, come on now, you know better than to not be a man of true Fat Acceptance.” So I kept hitting it until finally I heard her moan. I got excited and went balls deep only to find out it was actually her asshole. Fuck, Wrong hole! I decided to keep my cool and pull out anyway cause the condom came off and got lost somewhere in another slab — lord knows where. Anyway, I pulled out my chocolate yardstick, put on a new jimmy hat and put it right back in; when all of the sudden I noticed a brown, stank corndog rolled out; before I could bust a nut too, shittt. She got up and tried to waddled to the bathroom but she was leaving a trail of dew dew on the way. Man, good thing I left a tarp under my bed. I ran over to my secret forklift in the other room and came back to help her situate herself over the toilet — she was real heavy too, thank god my toilets are made of steal instead of porcelain. Anyway, I was prepared and willing to fix the situation; that’s what makes me a responsible gentleman. That’s what fat acceptance is all about: being ready, willing and prepared to accept any challenge, any problem. It’s like running up a steep hill, going up is a bitch but once you get to the top you feel good.

To make a long story short, the following day I spent the whole afternoon in my fishing boots, in the bathroom fixing the plumbing. Thank god my toilets are made of steal instead of porcelain. I was putting in work with my 10 foot industrial grade plunger, it felt more like I was churning butter or a giant cauldron of dew-stew. I was sweating real hard, getting dew dew stains on my fresh new chef outfit. Fuck my life I thought, then I remembered FAT ACCEPTANCE. It’s all part of the grand challenge: every day presents battles, a new hustle… Of course, the greatest challenge is still hitting the big ass itself, now that’s a real obstacle 😉

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Safe Sex for Chubby Chasers

When it comes to Big Game Hunting, safe sex is a priority, especially for you.

Need a ride to the other side man?

You gotta come prepared for this game, and make sure you satisfy every prerequisite — which I’ve covered before with regards to your strength and having the right size. But even that isn’t enough, you also have to take precautions to avoid severe injury, disaster and even death. That’s what’s so thrilling about chasing chubbies around, because you’re attempting to kill pussy that can kill you if you don’t watch out and use my common sense safety tips.

Amateur Chubby Chaser: Fatality waiting to happen.

What could go wrong? It’s usually a story like this: the typical amateur chubby chaser always thinks he’s ready.. He’s been lifting weights all week to prepare for this Olympic feat. She’s all hot and ready sitting in a steel reinforced wheelchair as he rolls her into his motel room. He lies on the bed first, takes off his clothes, and then pulls out a box of donuts that were hiding under the pillows. It all seems to go down smooth, like some kind of well choreographed R Kelly shit, until all of the sudden she leaps out of the wheel chair and this happens:

She’s not on bath salts. She’s just licking donut jelly off his face, as he dies.

His breathing begins to cut off due to the extreme weight pressing down on his chest, but she’s too busy licking the donut jelly off of his face to notice he’s dying. This could last for hours, or even days if she is too heavy to help herself off. But hey, that’s natural selection homie, that’s why there aren’t many chubby chasers around — us real chubsters, we’re an elite crew of fat sex survivors. If you want to join the Fat Acceptance league of extraordinary gentlemen, here’s some safety advice:

1. Unless you are black belt motherfucker like yours truly, never ever ever ever ever ever let that big ass mammoth-bitch on top of you. I don’t care if that’s how ya like it, you want to live right? Anything above 165 pounds can fuck up your pelvis for real. Anything above 200 pounds can send you to hell if you are stupid enough. Always stay on top like a real man. I know some of you have squash fetishes, and you want your BBW to sit on your face. Fine, but if you must, wear a hard hat so your skull remains intact.

 

Wear a hard hat when she sits on your face

Wear a hard hat when she sits on your face

2. Never let her roll on top of you. This is similar to rule #1, but if you are lying together cuddling before/after sex, you’re guard will be down. Stay calm, but be ready to roll away and jump on top if she rolls toward you. Do not let her on top unless you want to suffocate to death under layers of wet, doughy flesh.

3. Keep food off of you until you are absolutely ready for her to come at you and lick it off. Even if you’re standing and sprinkle confectioner’s sugar on your dick, you might get tackled NFL style bitch. The excitement of food is so strong in these women that a burst of energy will possess them if they even smell it — as opposed to their otherwise lethargic nature.

4. For her safety, don’t over-feed her at least an hour before sex. She may have a big body, but her little heart can only pump so much blood; and if most of it is pipe-lining to her stomach instead of her pussy (because she’s processing 8 pounds of funnel cake you bought her at the funfair) she won’t have any energy for sex. This is actually a classic amateur chubby chaser mistake. She might even have a heart attack while you’re pounding that ass. Why risk it? It kills the moment if the fat lady can’t scream because her blood flow is off.

5. Tie your BBW to the bed, otherwise she’ll roll around destroying the whole room. Broken glass and shit isn’t safe. Since I’m really into fat dungeon sex, I use handcuffs and ropes to tie my fat sex slaves up so they can’t move. I like to turn it up a notch by teasing them with food while they’re restrained. It’s a great way to torture a fat slut, and it’s safer then letting her whale ass maneuver around the room, and having furniture and lamps destroyed.

6. Don’t take a shower with her after sex. This one should be obvious, do you want to die in a bathtub? When 2 enter the shower, the BBW will leave and wonder where you went.

It’s important that you follow this advice, because what good will you do for the Fat Acceptance movement if you are dead? None. But It’s your funeral bitch.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame