I know what you must be thinking, “but Nigel, how do you get your head in there, or even find that pussy?” Good question. Trust me when I tell you that it isn’t as hard as it looks, but much harder; and it’s all absolutely necessary, because a woman’s pussy can only take so much of a beating until it needs a very gentle, healing massage. Besides, it’s a nice thing to do for your BBW once in a while so she can feel some pleasure too, and know that you appreciate her. When she sees all the intense effort you put into eating out her inner beef slabs, she’ll feel more than obligated to continue allowing herself to be your BBW mistress.
So before you just dive in, stop right there.. First you have to make sure that beef is clean and kosher. This might seem obvious, but larger women often have greater hygiene problems; often a large gunt with a fat ass/thighs will make it difficult for her to even wipe her own ass after taking a dump, with her fecal matter getting compounded over time. Even without ancient doodoo hanging out near her pussy, her nether region is home to all kinds of yeast, mold, and sometimes mushrooms too — and hey, those extra mushrooms go great on that pizza you’ll feed her later. Anyway, this is why it’s important to get a fresh sponge (that you never plan on using again) and pull out a large wading pool that’s big enough for her ass; because you’ll have to get your BBW to bend over and spread her legs so you can reach in and scrub that shit out. If you don’t like getting your hand stuck inside her fleshy abyss, you can always take her with you to the car wash at 4 am and have her get out and spread her legs. Important: make sure there’s no surveillance cameras at the car wash.
Now after all that hard work and preparation, you still can’t put your crabfest 2010 bib on just yet. Remember, it’s painful and difficult for any BBW to keep her legs spread open, especially when your head is up her ass. Her legs will give out sooner or later, and her pussy cavity will collapse around your head, crushing it instantly. So any hazardous situation like this requires the proper gear, that’s why I highly recommend wearing a helmet of some kind that isn’t so big that you can’t squeeze your head up her ass. Another tip is to use some kind of oil, WD-40 works great. Last but definitely not least, make sure you have a forced leg spreading device to keep her legs spread open, or just tie her legs to bed posts to keep them open. Whatever works. A fork lift is another option if you’re dealing with SSBBWs (Super Sized Big Beautiful Whores). But hey, that’s a whole n’other level, my level. After I eat ’em out, super sized bitches get super sized dick!
Once you got that accomplished, now you have to find it. I recommend the smell test, which is self explanatory. However, if you’re not a natural like me, then the next best thing is poking her ass until you hear her scream bloody murder. Great way to do this is with a corndog, because it’s warm and soft, and you can put it in her mouth afterwards to add an extra-sensual touch. If she asks where it’s been, just tell her you dipped it in chocolate. Or ketchup if there’s blood.
If things get too hot, put some ice cream on that ass to cool it down.
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