SlutWalks Are Great For Snagging Fat White Sluts

Have you ever heard of Slutwalks? You gotta try it out man, especially if you like being around fat white sluts like I do. These dimes won’t admit it, but the truth is that Slutwalks are really just Fat-Acceptance opportunities spectacles disguised as feminist activism. But hey, you know I’m super down with that. They’ll try to say specifically that they’re protesting against this whole notion that provocative dress invites RAPISTS. When they talk, I just nod my head, “okay whatever baby, that makes sense.” Seriously, It isn’t like walking around in the hood with stacks of money hangin’ out your pocket invites muggers, cause that’s way different. 

Believe it or not I’ve attended a few of these Slutwalk marches because I love fat sluts sympathize with the core principle of their movement: Overweight white women shouldn’t feel ashamed of looking and acting like fat sluts, they should flaunt it! They should feel encouraged and empowered to let their beefy muffin-tops and cottage cheese asses sag freely and openly. That’s why they got my fucking support. Amen.

Not too long ago I was in Toronto for a SlutWalk march, and boy was I surprised at the sheer size, density, and thickness of all the fat Slutwalker buffalo-bitches stampeding through the city. I couldn’t wait to join the crowd.

slutwalknigel

I’m looking smooth like Morpheus from the Matrix. 

Luckily I brought my sunglasses with me, because I recognized many of the BBWs from Craigslist personal ads I had responded to in the past. Many of them were past bangs, and I didn’t want them to recognize me; damn It really is a small world after all. Anyway, as the march went on, the women started chanting and yelling louder and louder. All of the sudden the crowd of thick, sweaty bodies started to clump together all around me, squeezing me in. With all that these thick walls of soft flesh around, my boner got more and more stiff, which subsequently became harder to conceal. One BBW felt the tip of my junk on her trunk and turned around to see what it was, but I played it cool, pretending my hand was in my pocket.

It didn’t help that I kept bumping into her ass with my stiff cock: the jig was up. She gave me a funny look. I tried apologizing to her, “Baby, excuse me” but she snarled at me and turned away, releasing a rancid angry-fart out of spite. My boner got even harder. That’s when I knew I had to improvise a way to prevent another accidental bump with my junk, or else the whole crowd of Slutwalkers would turn on me. So I took the sign I had and held it over my crotch as a barrier. Then I unzipped my pants and let my cock hang loose while I stroked it like a ninja, or just some Secret Negro Agent 007 shit. Ultimately masturbating helped reduce my boner so I could act more normal. Despite having so many fat white bitches up close, squishing me in, I was busting all kinds of nuts with maximum stealth. Dozens in truth. It was a long march.

Lookin' like Morpheus from the Matrix.

She’s not even looking at me, but I’m looking at her.

As the march was coming to a close, I left early and headed for my food truck, then drove it up to the horde of hungry Slutwalkers. A long line of fine looking sluts formed at the side of my truck, with their eyes were lit. All the sudden I went from being a random black dude in a white-feminist-march to feeling like a hiphop star with white groupies. I was killing two birds with one stone. As I say, “Make some dough, bang some dough.” That’s my motto. I even had a special offer for big sluts that signed up for my free dessert membership plan — which was actually just a cleverly disguised sexual-consent form. Shout out to my lawyer!

In conclusion, when it comes to RAPE, BBWs secretly love rapists and stalkers. On top of that, since when does any woman consent with a “yes” for a pussy pounding? She can’t even say “yes” or “no”, just “mmmm mmmm” when she’s got that whole 9 inches of Nigel’s snicker bar rammed down her turkey-necked throat.

“baby my bad, you gonna need some honey lemon tea for that sore throat.”

Follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

10 Reasons Why YOU Should Fuck Fat Women

fathungrywhore

You could sneak up right behind her #BBWdistracted

#1. Big Women Deserve Big Love.

Because of size-discrimination and racist/sizist manosphere bloggers like Heartiste, BBWs have a very hard time finding real men that have the proper credentials to handle their larger equipment in the bedroom. BBWs are an acquired taste. They need men with patience and experience in the unique art of super-sized-seduction. So If you have a big cock (black guys) and have the desire to hit it, it’s your duty. Save the whales motherfucker!

#2. They Are More Desperate for Sex: Get Your Notch Count Up Brothers.

So you walk into a bar and call it a night because you can’t find a girl under 170 pounds? You’re a bitch. You’ve failed at being a man. If anything, you have the advantage because BBWs are insecure about their body image. Make them feel good by doing the right thing. Fuck them up: they need they’re pussies wrecked. You get bonus points from her for finding her pussy. It’s never been easier to get your notch count in the 3 digits.

#3. You Live in the United States.

If this country gets any fatter it’s going to sink into the ocean, so it’s time to learn to swim. In other words, that means goin’ with the flow and fucking fat women. If this continent actually does sink, your BBW fling can double as a flotation device — provided she doesn’t somehow weigh more than the water she displaces.

#4. BBWs Are More Submissive.

See reasons #1 and #2: the dating market is an economic market, and fat women are in great supply. They need you more than you need them.

fat slave

Food Torture

I love making fat white bitches my sex slaves, it’s the ultimate revenge for slavery. Send them to my pigpen. Amen.

Picking up BBWs is liking getting Burger King: have it your way.

#5. They Give Better Head.

Because they’re hungry. She probably uses a corndog as a dildo, imagine what she’ll do to your dick after you put some mustard on it. Ask her if she likes Hershey kisses and you got easy rimjobs.

#6. Bigger Ass and Titties.

You like a big ass? You like big titties? I can hear you say hell yeah! Amen.

She’s got thick slabs of flesh that need a good flossing. Gotta clean ’em out.

#7. They All Love Video Games.

fatbitchgames

Come on bitch, put down that controller. We’re going to play a Big Game now. It’s Massive-Multiplayer: you, me, and that fat white ass.

Now what man on earth doesn’t want a girl that likes to play video games? Come on man, you know regular dates are bullshit. You’d rather just play video games and fuck than take her to the movies to see some hollywood remake. Wouldn’t we all? Well guess what, that’s exactly what she wants too! That and lots of food. But hey, you like 7-11 nachos too, right? Sounds like a win-win-win (triple win) situation right there. Play video games, eat, and fuck!

Now quit being a bitch when you can have it your way. Time to hit up the big pussy. A new notch is better than a new Xbox live achievement. Trust me on this.

And again, big bitches love video games. They gotta do something after fucking and eating, shit.

#8. Using Food Instead Of Money = Legal Prostitution.

BBW-Food-Pyramid

                                                  Here’s a Guide

Why pay for sex when you can make a nice meal? It’s cheaper and less humiliating than handing her dollar bills. She’s hungry, and if you can feed her, she’s going to spread ’em. Sometimes you have to force the food in her mouth, but as long as it gets in there you’ve won half the battle to the pussy.

#9. You Get Discounts on Electric Wheelchairs and Motorized Scooters.

Anywhere you go where they sell wheelchairs and motorized scooters, you get a discount. I buy them all the time, though I don’t need them for myself. Rather, I buy them for my game, it’s just part of my logistical tool set. I have a collection of wheelchairs I bought cheap. As I always say, “always have a spare wheelchair, just in case the first one breaks.”

Also you get free handicapped parking too. As long as you are escorting (or corralling) hoards of fat mammoth hoes, you don’t need a legitimate handicapped sign in your windshield. Fuck the system.

#10. It Will Improve Your Cooking.

In Big Game, you gotta feed your bitches. And you have to get better at it each time if you want to progress and get easier big bangs.

Recently I made cannolis for a special BBW… With cum filling.

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame

Read More: The logistics of banging fatter women.

No Woman Is Too Big For Love

Is that cleave up there her pussy ?

You known you’ve gotten real deep into the game when you start to realize that it isn’t about what you say or do anymore, but rather it’s about you and her, together. When it comes to love, larger women are no exception. THEY DESERVE IT TOO. Being a big game player requires having a big heart; and the BBWs that cross my path know my BBH (Big Black Heart) is at least as big as my BBC. As a man, you are more than just the size of your cock. Having a big heart opens you up to her feelings and emotions (and her pussy) in a way that borders telepathy, that way you can know exactly what she’s feeling beneath her slabs, and whether or not she’s really hungry.

One reason having a big heart is important is because it allows you to establish a channel of emotional empathy with your BBW in a way that leads to more sex. Let me explain this: as you know, you can’t just assume a BBW is hungry automatically, that is offensive! Even if she’s actually hungry, the timing has to be just right or else you are crossing the line in a way that’s politically incorrect. I use food all the time in my game to get BBWs in bed; but I do it the right way, using my heart as my guide, that way she knows I’m being real with her. As us black folks often say, “real knows real.”

When you open up your heart and show a big girl love, it’s amazing how quickly things can happen. Often I’m reminded of this when I swing by McDonald’s for a late night snack, cause I always end up coming back home for a feeding frenzy with a random BBW. It isn’t anything like “swag” or what I say that gets her to come home with me, no, it’s my smile, it’s my for-real aura, and maybe my chef hat too. By the time I wheelchair her over to my big white van it’s time to turn off game and let it all happen naturally, like nature intended with the birds and the bees, and the elephants 😉

Sometimes things happen so quickly that I’m forced to scout for a location on site.

Bitches love getting caught in one of these.

Bitches love getting caught behind Officer Big Mac’s bars. Adds a nice S&M touch 😉

That’s when things get super freaky real quick. One time I shoved a whole happy meal up a BBW’s ass and nothing came out except the toy — damn, I knew she was hungry. All I had to do was open up and show her that I’m real with myself, and my intuition led me to do the right things, making her feel okay with all of it at the same time. That’s when BBWs show you their nasty side. That’s when you can gag a bitch with french fries and drench her with your special sauce (I use Nigel’s house mayo). I always like to spread it around her slabs with a basting brush after I’m finished, otherwise if it stays on her face she might drown, and that wouldn’t be cool. Plus she can spend the rest of the week trying to scrub it out of her slabs, thinking about the fun time she had at McDonald’s with Chef Nigel. Bitches like being used up by a man like that, by a man that they think loves them.

A few busted nuts later it’s time to call it a night and spend some quality time together. That’s when I like to dim the lights, turn up the gas on my fireplace, and lay back on my couch as I relax and sing hymns to the lord. Usually by this time my BBW is too tired from all the intense pounding, so I roll her up in a tarp and shove more french fries in her mouth to calm her down. A little tough love goes a long way too. Delivering discipline to your BBW takes heart to prevent you from going over board, and trust me, I’ve gone way over board. Nowadays, If she farts too much and stinks up my living room, I’ll fart on her face.

follow me on twitter for more big game stuff @NigelBigGame

How I pick the right woman

nigel kills it again

She was born hungry, and I fed her well.

Back in my early days when I was a younger man, I was a french fryer at McDonald’s. I thought the smell I brought with me from work to the club was all i needed to be a big-ass-getter. But I was so on it, so hungry, so inexperienced, I didn’t even give bitches the chance to smell me. I just chased girls with big asses like I escaped from prison and had to bust a nut real quick before the police could catch me and send me back. I was always buying new clothes, trying to increase my swag, and hustling hard like a door to door salesman selling dick. Sometimes it worked, but man, It got tiring; it was hard work. I usually only drink Gatorade after fucking fat BBWs to replenish my electrolytes and energy/sugar-levels, but back then I had to drink that shit all the time because I was exhausting myself so much. At one point I had to smoke crack just to keep up and stay alert. Then my hair was starting to turn grey, and I had had enough. Those were the days… Then a major paradigm shift changed my game forever. One day I saw a man on TV hunting wild beasts in Africa. He took his time to wait and ambush big game beasts, and that’s when I knew that catching big game required big game. It was so much more strategic, relaxing, and intelligent than what I was doing all along. All the pieces of the big game puzzle finally came together. This ain’t checkers motherfuckers, it’s chess.

So let’s come back to the present, around last week. It was big ladies night at the Ham Hock Saloon. I weaseled my way into the VIP party room where they had an open buffet and strategically planted myself in front of it — specifically the table with the fried chicken assortment. The BBWs started waddling their way in like a stampede. I was gettin’ real excited but kept my cool with a big pitcher of beer in my hands. I stood there posted up like a soldier on guard duty, just watching them get comfortable, waiting for all that food to start digesting and sap up their strength. The time started to fly and the room got hot and sweaty, when all of the sudden I felt an intense pressure on my foot, like a truck had run over it. I thought my foot was about to be pulverized, but I held my breath to avoid screaming in public. I looked down and noticed it wasn’t someone’s foot stepping on my shoe, but instead the end of a walking cane — a fat ass woman (with severely debilitating gout) had inadvertently placed the end of her cane on my foot for support as she struggled in a lumbering waddle, on her way to the next buffet. Immediately all the anger and pain turned into excitement, because the weakest link in this procession of very big titties-n-ass had just stumbled into my clutching range.

She was short and very wide, especially her ass — no wonder she needed a walking cane, it was epic; or maybe it was because of her gout, which looked like a giant ass tumor. I had to make the first move, so I grabbed her by the love handles and pulled her closer, pretending to whisper something in her ear about how I noticed her checking me out, and how beautiful I think she is; see a little flattery goes a long way with big bitches, and it’s a great way to buy time. She smiled, and then I offered her some beer from the pitcher I was holding. She gave me a funny look and then asked me if I was just trying to get her drunk, but I was like, “baby, you serious? Just have a sip.” She looked thirsty, and I was thirsty for her epic ass and pussy, it was a win win situation. But being a black belt in big game, I also knew something else: if I could get her to drink the whole pitcher of beer, it would seriously agitate her gout. So I put the pitcher up to her lips and I started chanting, “drink! drink! finish it bitch!” and got the whole room to chant with me; the peer pressure set in and the beer disappeared. It didn’t take long for her  to guzzle it down, she was born to swallow.

After drinking all that beer, it only took 2 minutes for the pain to set in. Her big ass foot with the gout was glowing red hot and lookin’ ready to explode. She could barely stand up, even with her cane for support. She started leaning on me and moaning. I knew I had her right where I wanted. “Excuse me folks, coming through. She needs help taking a shit” was all I had to say, and everyone moved out of our way as I guided her to the restroom. One hater that supposedly was her friend jumped out in front of me and asked me what I was doing, but I pulled out my wallet and quickly flashed him my health insurance card that has a blue cross on it, “I’m a nurse at the hospital, I work with obese patients. I’m a professional, I know how to handle this.” He quickly shut up and walked away. Once we made it to the restroom, I guided her toward the stall. She put up some physical resistance; and being a big woman, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to just push her in, so instead I yanked her walking cane away and she fell to the floor like a limp sack of shit. She fell into the stall perfectly, just barely fitting in with her ass hanging out. I couldn’t close the door, but it’s didn’t matter. I unzipped my pants and got to work, kneading her doughy ass with my chocolate dough roller.

It is thanks to my strategic approach to big game that I don’t have to break a sweat and waste my time if I don’t want to. Sun Tzu would approve.

my man sun tzu

follow me on twitter for more big game advice @NigelBigGame