She Was Asking For it.

Nigel suited up, with a BBW, in front of golden corral buffet.

Lately I’ve been making my rounds at the local buffets once again. Last time I learned a very valuable lesson: Buffets are surprisingly the hardest place on earth to game BBWs. Even though you have so many of them waddling around in one place, they are overly distracted by all the choices of food, and even just the smell of food… They are so busy hogging up the buffet tables, carefully selecting what they want to eat, it’s hard to talk to them. They just get their food and sit at their table, intensely focused on the act of eating. I was so broken down after a week of nothing but cold rejection that I swore off buffet game forever. Never again I said to myself, but that was 5 months ago. Now I decided to tame the beasts in their own environment once again, by any means necessary.

A few days ago I hit up the buffet scene again, but this time employing a new overall strategy. I was suited up, more confident than ever, and had a new, solid alibi for my presence. In my new fitted purple suit, I headed for the Golden Corral and immediately noticed that every fat bitch was staring at me, for at least 3 seconds. Man I knew I had made a solid impression right there and then, until all the sudden the smell of bacon grease and fried foods hit me like a brick wall. The BBWs turned back around to the soul food selections, but the gain in confidence I had lingered, and I knew it was time to game on.

I got myself a plate and got in line, but this one fat woman in front of me was so god damn big I couldn’t see anything ahead of her. She was like an edifice of adipose with an ass the size of a dumpster, and a fecal stench reeking through her clothing. I had to hold my plate over my crotch to conceal a very intense boner. Once we got to the food, I knew my chance to spit game was now or never. I waited until she started loading up her tray with food, which was taking forever. The people behind us were getting visibly frustrated waiting for her to finish up,  so I called her out on it, “girl, come on. You’re holdin’ up the line!” I was trying to be cute, I smiled, but she got defensive.

BBW: Motherfuckah you got something to say to me?
Nigel: Hell yeah I do!
BBW: Whatchu got niggah? I’ll sit on you!
Nigel: Oh yeah, is that a threat honey? Because guess what, I could have you black listed.

BBW: What, you gonna put me on a black wishlist? Huh?
Nigel: No bitch, It means you won’t ever be able to come back here again. All I have to do is snap a picture of you and send it to the Golden Corral head quarters, telling them you’ve been “over served” and are acting belligerent fat hoe, hoggin’ up the line. That’s it, and you’ll be banished from the Golden Corral kingdom for all eternity. How’s that sound?
BBW: FUCK YOU niggah! You ain’t gonn’ do shit!

At this point everyone was staring at us, and some were even filming with their iPhones.

She put down her tray and waddled toward me, getting in my face like she was ready to throw down. I put down my plate and got ready in my boxing stance — and I’ll be honest here, I was scared for life, because she was at least twice my weight (I’m 235 pounds). I told her to “step the fuck back.” That was her third and final warning, I was through being nice, but she still didn’t want to listen. She choose to seal her fate when she grabbed a good scoop of greasy mashed sweet potatoes and flung it at my suit, which I had just gotten dry cleaned. Damn, that was the last straw. I quickly jabbed her in the face with my right hand and followed up with a left hook to her jaw (the good old one two combo). She was out already, when I kicked her over. She fell back, hitting the ground so hard the whole building shook up. It was like Godzilla had fallen over in defeat. The crowd of patrons was cheering for me when she went down, but I hardly noticed.

Word of advice for you hoes: Never mess with a brother’s suit, especially if it’s fitted, cause you’ll get knocked the fuck out for real.

She was lying on the ground unconscious while I was still in aggression mode, lost in the violence, seeing red; so I pulled my pants down and got to work. I couldn’t find her pussy beneath all the layers of flab, so I compromised with a nice crevice. I was getting in it hard, trying to bust a nut, but then I noticed that fecal smell again. It was coming from a hole near her gunt, she had a colostomy. Her colostomy bag had fallen off, and there was a nice hole for me to shove my dick in. There was shit inside, but my dick didn’t care, it was just like putting it in her ass, no different. It was nice and tight and I busted a few times. I felt like a champion beating up her… hole. She got what she deserved, and I had finally gotten a notch from a buffet — a Golden Corral flag. My dick gave me a fist bump.

After I got done, I noticed that everyone had left, so I pulled my pants up and went outside for a smoke. The cops showed up and asked me what had happened, and I told them the truth, “I was scared for my life, and she was asking for it.”

Photo credit: https://twitter.com/RaymondStarke

Photo credit: RaymondStarke

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Read More: When BBWs Act UP

27 thoughts on “She Was Asking For it.

  1. This is another example of savage “niggas” being savage “niggas”. All you hood-rat “niggas” should be banned from decent public venues. None of you people have any more manners than a pack of wild hogs. BUT since Golden Corral is a bottom feeding tub of trash slop house, I guess you and your blubber butt “nigga” hos and white trash, baby making, welfare tramps can hang there, lol.
    The reason all the fat piggy hos were staring at you in that ugly purple suit is because they probably thought you were Barney the purple dinosaur. All those blubber pigs were probably getting ready to send their overweight sprog over to your table for an autograph. You were damn lucky you weren’t swarmed by dirty faced, sticky fingered, little piglets, all screaming and clawing at you like a pack of tubby, dirty diaper wearing baboons.
    BTW, just so you purple is a gayest color under the sun. It even beats out pink in the most limp wristed color under the sun.

      • It’s flowing well enough. It’s a higher class of pussy than what you are used to but the availability is still pretty good. You really need to stay the hell away from that fat, slop house, welfare pussy and get yourself some plump pussy with a job and a little self-respect. Oh but I forgot, any large lady with the smallest amount of self-respect wouldn’t be caught dead in your company, :D.
        I guess in a way I should thank you. You do all us decent FA’s a service by banging those white trash and wild hog “nigga” slob bitches. It keeps them off the streets so us dudes that like quality large ladies don’t have to sort thru the usual crop of unwashed pigs.

        • DF you need to knock it off with the stereotypes. There are no “white trash hogs” in my playbook, and frankly that’s offensive! I consider them fine as hell, rubenesque, rotund snow-bird BBWs that need some dark pipe gently put down on ’em.

          • Only pigs white or black want to get with you. They don’t have a choice. So stop bullshitting; you only make yourself look dumber than you already are.

            BTW, your playbook is 100% hogs, white trash and otherwise. All hood-rats fuck the bottom of the barrel, it’s just how society works. Birds of a feather and all that shit.

            • Nigel goes after BBWs, not TLW.

              That says it all. The difference between empowerment and a fetishized, coopted sexual standard. Feminism vs. oppression. Freedom vs. objectification. We are woman. TLW.

              I wish he could be affirmed. I really do.

              ~Desiree

              • BBW? Big, beautiful…woman? Beautiful because we’re big?

                TLW? The Larger woman? It’s that simple. That elegant. We’re just large. Are we also beautiful? Of course, but that’s just inherent to the nature of the definition. We are beautiful, achingly beautiful, in fact – and that’s why it needn’t be explicit in such a sexualized, overt fashion that’s only intended to fetishize.

                I’m discussing Fat Acceptance, activism, and the replacement of the term BBW in my upcoming pending master’s thesis; “We Are Woman: Rise Of TLW (Copyright Desiree Martha Meyers-Liebowitz).”

                ~Desiree

                • I don’t really see anything wrong with the term BBW but I do see your point regarding objectification and fetishizing fat girls. It’s dehumanizing but it is no different than the objectification of women with large breasts or long legs or blonde hair etc. To a certain extent both sexes are guilty of objectifying each other. It is a normal reaction to today’s cultural and social environment. The difference between overt and degrading forms of objectification and the level of emotional damage it causes lies in how it is presented. In Nigel’s case he totally ignores the fact that fat women are human beings and he focuses on their size and his assbackward perception of their lives. He uses their weight and body mass to degrade and criticize them for his own twisted personal wank fodder. While I and most FA’s focus on the woman’s weight or size or focus is not meant as a way to degrade them but rather as a way to lift them up emotionally and spiritually and help them discover just how beautiful they actually are. Unlike Nigel I don’t see large women as something to prey upon. I don’t exploit their insecurities, their flaws, their hang-ups; I try to free them of all of those things so that they blossom into the goddess like individuals they were born to be. I have done this all my life and have enjoyed great success with the larger ladies.
                  But on the other hand, that does not mean I am attracted to or feel that ALL of the fuller figured gals are worth my efforts. Just as in any class of people, some are below my expectations. These are the individuals that I commonly refer to as the “pigs”, “hogs” or “slobs”. They are the lowest of the low and I do not feel this way because of their weight. It is their bad attitude, their overly aggressive demeanor, their lack of social graces, their hygienic deficiencies and lastly their unfailing ability to hook up with scum like Nigel.

                  • “Unlike Nigel I don’t see large women as something to prey upon. I don’t exploit their insecurities, their flaws, their hang-ups; I try to free them of all of those things so that they blossom into the goddess like individuals they were born to be.”

                    DF gets it. DF affirms TLW (The Larger Woman), and is therefore himself affirmed. Is Nigel?

                    No.

                    Which is why he will receive his comeuppance. It’s time to take down this hateful, pathetic, excuse for a “fat acceptance” blog. You just accept our bodies, the fruit of our being, and not us ourselves. We’re just objects to you, Nigel.

                    And like every loser I used for his body in college, NIgel, you’re just an object to me. An object to be dismantled.

                    ~Desiree

    • now tahts racist.

      wuts ur problem?? jesus its like us black folks r just MINDING R OWN BUSINESS and doin r thing and u have to come along n be all shittin up r gamee!!

      wuts the matter boyy? u dated a white bitch n she went off n got some big throbbbin cox fro ma brutha? mmmmm yea we guuud like that. vieny too.

      MMmmmmmmmmm we tasty n u know it 😉

  2. Pingback: Don’t Mess with a Chubby Chaser

  3. You’re the Roman empire Nigel… bringing order to another lawless smorg. Would have paid cash to been there…. be the best money spent in a long time.

  4. That was really awesum too bad people didnt cheer you on when you started having sex with her unconscious body. I guess they just werent cool enough to understand the allure of BBW. U should rite some ebook nigel like how to cook good stuff for BBW and how to bang them even moar. Buffet game is really hard I agree with U

    I also have a secret technique : U put on pizza boy suit and you come in with the pizza, u sit down on the sofa and u make a hole in both the pizza and the pizza box!!! BBW will laugh and start suckin on ur dick!!!! godspeed nigel love ur blog

  5. Okay. Um. Wow. So this is what happens when I leave you kids alone for a little while.

    Two points.

    First the gentler of the two: The whole “hilarity” of Nigel, of all places, meeting TLW (The Larger Woman) at a socially lower-class buffet is noted. We’re large, we eat a lot, and what better place than a buffet? Yeah, it’s funny. If you’re fucking twelve and have no understanding of how the real physiology of real women actually works. I think one of the biggest revolutions about The Larger Woman (TLW) is the ongoing social realization that we’re *not* grotesque eating machines. Speaking personally (and my friends can vouch for this), I eat hardly anything…I just happen to be a woman of a larger structure and suffer from a slow metabolism (as well as some unrelated health problems that prevent me from exercising). Additionally, the term “BBW” needs to be replaced by one that hasn’t been coopted by fetishists who seek to sexualize the very essence of our identities as TLW (The Larger Woman). Yes, I know I’m sexy. *I* know *I* am sexy, for being me. I’m not a woman who is sexy because she’s fat. I’m a woman who is sexy because she’s sexy. I can love my fat, it’s a part of me. You can only love me. I’m affirmed. Are you?

    My second point:

    I suppose the timing is appropriate that you’ve been given your own post on the horrific, misogynist, socially ass-backwards ROK blog. I know you’re a big deal, Nigel, because of all the other “gems” that have been published by ROK. So…now the great bastions of the “manoshere” (fucking laughable) have decided to give one of the most pathetic, disgusting, and truly ugly “chubby chasers” his day in the sun. I wanted to avoid seeming a bit over-dramatic, but it’s really not drama if it’s true, right? Well, I am…shall we say…your worst nightmares?
    So here’s my second point. This post, being perhaps your most overt declaration of RAPE seen thus far, has driven me to get hubby involved. My lawyer hubby.

    I’m shutting this blog DOWN. War against men? Puh-lease. You pathetic little boys are LOSING this war.

    Sorry Nigel sweetie. You had yourself a good run.

    ~Desiree

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